You've got an excellent story going, though you've actually just made a multi-chapter info-dump aka exposition a la David Weber. Any chance of getting any more on the story sometime soon? I curious to see what happens as the story progresses. It also looks you're using the Sentinel/Guide idea from The Sentinel. It's a show I followed, and have been following it's fanfic for about a decade now. I'm interested in seeing where the story progresses from this point. I hope your schedule and muse will allow you to write and post more chapters sometime soon. Keep up the good work. Zafaran {mailto:} zafaran {at} fastmail {dot} fm

Thank you.

Grin! Yeap I'm using Sentinel/Guide aspect because it is just such an interesting idea and there is so much you can do with the concept.

This is very well done. I do hope you continue.

Working on it.

Please, continue this story... pretty please with cherry on top... I'm begging you here...

Good story

Thank you. RL has me busy for a while but I have some ideas for other chapters I'm working on.

Love this chapter, great chapter. Hope you continue.

I will be but I'm having a bit of a writers block. But I have ideas.

I love the picture. Are you going to do one with Giles and Xander?

I'm working on the pic to go with the story.

Just to let you know that I have added the chapter picture.

I *love* this story. It has such a good premise and Harry/Connor is one of my all-time favorite pairings. If you still need a beta reader, I'd like to volunteer. I'm a journalism major and could probably catch all of the errors. Just let me know :)

Thanks!

Hi. I like your story, I'm interested in seeing where you are taking it. However, the grammatical issues (past -present tense) as well as some problems with using the wrong word, is making it almost impossible to read. Also in your third chapter, you suddenly shift from a third person narrative, to a first person narrative. It's really sad, cause it distracts from an otherwise interesting and compelling story. Have you tried using the forums to find a beta reader? I liked your characterization of Connor in the first chapter, and I enjoyed the Dogma - crossover (at least I think it is Dogma). Also the idea with the sense going out of control/ Connor falling into a daze seems rather Sentinel to me, which is exciting, since I haven't seen any other Harry Potter crossovers that use this idea.

Regards Tals

Great story :) I can't wait for the next chapter, and the upcoming meeting between Harry and Connor :) Is there, or will there be, a relationship between Angel and Spike? Please update again soon :)

um... that nice to see what was happening to the others, but i think this chapter should have been shorter in some way and should have at least mentioned more of Harry or Connor at least in one scene or something...

Not bad. Very Interesting.


You SO need to spell & grammer check. Some of your tenses are off too.

For example "primal hernia spirit" is SUPPOSED to be HYENA
HERNIA is a medical problem.

Do you proof-read your own stuff?

I'm a writer not a English major ...

But if you must know I have a mild form of dyslexia which prevents me from catching some of these problems. Plus as you know spelling checking and grammar checks do not catch everything. So the answer to your question yes I did do a spell and grammar check. I did read it over quiet a few times but being dyslexic I don't always find the mistakes.

So are you offering to beta or do you just like to point out the obvious?

Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!
It WAS just a stupid kiss. Though you have to admit the plot capability was rather good.
Giles did let Buffy and Willow do whatever. And he did treat Xander and Faith like crap a lot of times.
I KNOW he loved Xander like a son but when it came to Buffy, which makes sense in a way since she was his slayer but not at all right, crap. Buffy is a good character, good person and I like/dislike her but there is no denying she does have her games. And I so agree with you. FAITH is the longest living slayer. I always thought so but since I'm not a hardcore Buffy-er I thought I might be off, glad to see that theory isn't nuts :-D
Though I have to say, the briefcase bit? Was a tad harsh. Buffy would had at least waited a few days for Giles.


That first slayer bit was sure interesting though.

I alway thought that. Plus I keep thinking back to MASH when Hawkeye and Hot Lips were caught in a crossfire how things went with them. I figured if that happen to two mature adults what about teenagers who are in a life and death situtation.

Yeap Giles did treat them terrible and it took a heart attack to have him realize that.

Buffy has her moments but she does tend to ride rodshod over people when she things she is right.

As to Faith, well Faith never died and she was the last called slayer. Buffy died twice, she abadon her calling at least once during the series and another when she was the Immortal in Italy. Faith has problem yes, but if she had a watcher when she arrived in Sunnydale it makes you wonder if the stuff that happen would have.

Snort ... true but Buffy is not very nice in this universe. She is very controlling and she knows what is right. Also since she lost her mother and her father isn't in her life she has abadonment issues (really big ones). I can see her doing this so she wouldn't have to realize that she might have lost Giles.

As to the first slayer ... Xander was the heart during the spell. Also he seems to attract women who are not quiet human and the slayer was quiet human. Then the fact that he also has the primal spirit allows the first slayer to recongize a protenial mate.

Awww Harry!
Wow. That was HOT!
Like reading an installment of a good romance novel. :-D
Not the corny whoa's me part. But the sex. That is if romance novels (the ones I can find) had the hot man sex :-D

And what more. I want to hug Harry so much! Connor will be so fiercely protective of him. I just know it. He is Darla and Angel's son afterall. And those two aare a bit psychotic about what's theirs. *wriggles around in my chair* Can't wait to read the rest!

Thanks!

Harry is a tough cookie but at the same time he is a lonely young man that wants that special someone. That someone that could take over if needed and allow him to rest just a tiny bit.

Connor, poor kid having two sets of memories, stolen from his family and raised in a hell diminision he needs someone who would not judge, nor baby him, but simply allow him to lean on when things become too much.

I just though the two of them would be good for each other for each has something that balances the other.

Very interesting ideas, looking forward to more.

The 2nd chapter has a lot of errors. Spell check only catches spelling errors, it doesn't always let you know when the word is spelled correctly but is the wrong word for the sentence or context. Try reading the story out loud before you post - it helps catch those kinds of problems.

This was kinda interesting. That's a really wierd way to end it though, it doesn't really tie anything up. Do they figure out what's wrong with Connor, Angel, and Spike? Do Connor and Harry ever meet? What was causing them to dream about each other? I dunno, I like it but I think that it could definitely use a few more chapters to round things out and tie things up. Send me a reply and let me know if you plan to continue it at all so I know whether to check back for more or not.

~ Kyra

Hi!

I have some more of the story ploted out and I will be posting another chapter soon. I just realize that I didn't change the complete button to "No". I have just corrected it.