I just love the way you're writing this story. I'm normally not a big Dawn fan, except when the authors do an inspired job of writing her character -- just like you are. Can't wait to see what comes up at Hogwarts and the changes Dawn's presence will bring. I haven't read any of the updates in a while, so I have to tell you that I love the way you've brought Angel into the story...nice touch. :)

Well, I figured no one liked it beuase Dawn doesn't worship harry but I'll see waht I can come up with now.

I absitively posilutely love this story. I'm glad that Dawn's taking charge. She must've learned people manipulation from Cordy and Spike.

Almost forgot, is there going to be any relationship in this story? Harry/Dawn, Draco/Dawn, Harry/Draco/Dawn?

of curse. She adh good teachers

"His earliest years up until he was nearly Hogwarts aged were spent in hiding and fear. He never got to be a child.""

i like your work, sweetpea, but Canon!Percy, at least, is not that old. He's a fifth year when the Golden Trio are firsties, remember - which makes him only five years older, if that. He would have been six when the war ended.

yet they said people stayed in hiding and afraid for a few years after the war ended. and something like that to someone so young is scarring. percy never had time to learn to play.

Do I actually have to leave a review to tell you everything wrong, or would you let me just cut and paste littleoldme's review because it pretty much sums things up accurately.

you know, Jee, I have heard every comment on this story and i have repsonded. Do you really think, at this pooint, that I care what a small minded, unimginative twirp like you thinks? If you don't like my stories, do me a favor adn stop readng them.

Good.

Maybe Harry & Draco can find some common ground now.
Maybe even *gasp* become friends. ;-)

possibly

Excellent!

thank you

I liked the end of this and the beginning, but chapters 3-8 just about lost me. In those, Dawn sounds more like a stand in for an author who wants to rant about the HP canon than she sounds like an actual person, let alone the character we've come to know as Dawn. Joyce's reaction to Harry Potter also seems completely out of line. She's the last person in the world who would resent a child for ANYTHING, let alone things outside of his control. She was an empathetic woman with room for everyone in her heart, and she mothered pretty much everyone she came in contact with- even Spike. I can see her getting angry with the press- but it would be much more in line with Joyce's character if she was angry on Harry's behalf, and felt completely sorry and protective over him. To look at a child and go "why is he so special- he only lost both of his parents... he doesn't deserve to be famous!" is really cold hearted, when your reaction COULD be "poor child- he lost both of his parents and now he has to contend with being the center of attention for something he can't even remember." Joyce might resent that the wizarding world was trying to make Harry into a hero, but given that she knew about Buffy's destiny, I have to think she'd FEEL for Harry. The only time in canon we ever see venom out of Joyce is when her family is threatened. We certainly never see it directed to a child; not even Faith.

The fact that Dawn seems to know everything about the wizarding world is just strange, and you've given her abilities that she didn't have in the canon without really explaining them. In the canon, we see a lot of Dawns- she's bratty and she's sensitive and she's goofy and she's brave, but I don't see any resemblance between the girl telling off everyone in sight and any part of Dawn we've seen in the canon- let alone in season five. We're talking about the Dawn who told Harmony off by saying something along the lines of "Xander could kick your butt!" If her experiences have changed who she is, as a reader, I want to see how, and even then, I want to see some glimmer of the old Dawn, not this paragon of virtue and knowledge who's I-know-best-despite-the-fact-that-I've-never-met-any-of-you attitude makes her very hard for me to empathize with or like.

Beyond that, it's mostly the little things that I think bring the quality of the fic down. Things like the fact that Dawn relishes referring to Angel as Angelus, when nobody in the canon, other than Spike, Dru, and Darla, ever referred to Angel that way. If Dawn was there the first time Angel became Angelus, then I would expect her to see them as two very, very different people. For her, Angelus wouldn't be a pet name- how could it be when Angelus wreaked so much havok on their family and lives? Angelus is cruel. Spike may be able to pull off referring to him affectionately, but from Dawn, it feels cheap and wrong to me, even if Dawn is using the name to try to scare Snape. Angel has worked very hard to get away from Angelus and to make up for his wrongdoings. Flaunting them in front of someone else seems like a pretty rotten thing for Dawn to do.


I know this is just fanfiction, and I don't expect it to be perfect, just like I don't expect you to write according to anything I've said here. This review just represents my opinion, and that is that for me, this fic hasn't lived up to the promise I saw in it, and the characterizations are too big a hurdle for me to overcome in trying to enjoy the fic. Other people obviously don't find it as hard, and I wish you luck in continuing to write and them in continuing to enjoy it.

actually I may edit it as I have WIlliam Black. Even an author can see a probelm. Looking at it the early parts comepared to waht I write the othe day I can see some issues.

Ooo, that was really good! I love Lindsey! He's so awesome! I can't wait for Draco and Lucius to arrive. Things should definitely get interesting! More soon, please?

I hope more soon

Very cool!

Thank you muchly

Wonderful!!!
This story is really going places!!!

yes it is. CUrse i'm working out Draco's remembering when his father switched for his sake now. Becusae they'll want to know.

Good one.

told everyone to give me time adn the story woudl explain itself

love it, love it, and love it even more. I like the fact that you chose Lucuis, not Narcissa to love Draco more than power. Usually its her who does. Anyway keep up the awesome work. ^_^

well, i get so tired of the fics that say only men can be bad

Yay he's out of the Dursleys!

Curious to see what happens when he sees Draco.

you and me both. I know if can refrain fomr killing Draco adn Lucius Dawn will like him more.

Excellent.

thank you

Uncle Lee. Heh. Fun!

well, Angel had ot come up with something