I love your story. It's great to find it here at TtHM instead of ff.net where I was reading it before.

Wow, this story went from interesting to boring and cliched in one paragraph flat. There was a lot of story potential with Buffy being born a boy. Oh well it was fun while it lasted.

Cop out.

For a moment, I was afraid that Andrew was going to be Harry Potter.

I take it that Xander has some sort of glamour that hides his scar and his green eye.

I'm liking this story but now I'm just confused... Who exactly IS Harry?

Interesting developments, but I found the chapter was a bit disorganised and I found all the twists and turns hard to follow. I still like the story, I just found the last chapter confusing.

Aaand new twist. Seemsq like Buffy learned to play Chess somewhere along the way!!! She has how many moves on Dumble now? Anyway, while I kinda liked the idea of Harry being Buffy, I must say this sounds a lot more logical.

Hmm... This is really interesting and definitely one of a kind. I can't wait to see what happens next. Please update soon.

"A compound sentence is made up, in essence, of two separate sentences; so it should be broken in the middle with a semi-colon, not just a comma," said orangemike the editor, who is enjoying this story more than he expected.

I asked a friend who is gender-dysphoric and reads fanfic, and was informed that there are some Harriet Potter stories out there, but that they deal with Harry being turned into a girl during his Hogwarts years; said friend was not aware of any crossover Harriet Potter stories, with the Buffyverse or otherwise.

Since you don't have a beta, here are some grammar things that you really need to watch (and preferably fix in early chapters as well).

DIALOGE:
You're not punctuating your dialogue correctly. Dialogue should be in one of these forms.
(a) "This is how dialogue looks," said littleoldme.
(b) "This is how dialogue looks." Littleoldme did a cartwheel to add oomph to her demonstration.

It should not under any circumstances look like this:
(c) "This is how dialogue looks." said littleoldme.

If you're using a dialogue tag, such as said, asked, etc, then you need to use a comma at the end of the quote. If you want to put a period, then you need to capitalize the beginning of the next sentence, and it needs to be a full sentence independent of the quote.

COMPOUND SENTENCES:
If you join together two distinct sentences with a conjunction, like "and," "but," or "so," you need a comma in there. So your sentence:
"She didn't get any evil feelings from him so for now the woman was her main concern." SHOULD read: "She didn't get any evil feelings from him, so for now, the woman was her main concern." Same goes for "I'm from California and my mom was never friends with anyone in England"- that one should be "I'm from California, and my mom..."

OTHER COMMAS NEEDED:
When you have a sentece of this form:
SUBJECT VERBED DIFFERENT-VERBING something, it should look like this:
(a) Littleoldme left comments, doing the best she could to help the other author.

NOT like this:
(b) Littleoldme left comments doing the best she could to help the other author.

So sentences like ""There's a magic school?" asked Buffy in shock wondering why Willow had never been asked to go there." are grammatically incorrect- it should be "Buffy asked in shock, wondering why..."

***

If you would just very carefully watch for those grammatical things, your story would be much, MUCH better. They should be pretty easy to catch, now that you know what to look for.

I think you have a good ear for dialogue- some of Buffy's is particularly good this chapter, but the grammar stuff detracts from the story a lot.

Way.... way.... AU but nicely written so far. I like that you set it after the complete Buffy series, which only makes it AU for the HP verse.

Good couple of chapters, too bad it looks like you aren't going to spend much more time with the Dursleys. It could be fun to watch Vernon try and call Buffy a freak.

Good start, update soon, I want to read Buffy's reaction to who she really is.

I'll give you props for coming up with an original concept but the way you're writing it is just... meh.... You HAVE to show more action, not talk about it - there is a difference.

And I'm sure many have already pointed out the Scoobies, Buffy especically are not nearly as suspecious as she should be. It's cliche and most authors acccept it as a convension but Slayers does not have the inat ability to detect demons, at least Buffy don't and in the 7 years she fought on the hellmouth that ability never surfaced. She can determine Creepy and not Creepy but she could get that from Humans.

Her "Spidy-sense" is more like a danger detector, she differetiates between what is dangerous and not dangerous on an instanctive lv. As we know Danger does not equal Demon and Demon does not equal Danger.

Hopefully this chapter will clear up some stuff...or confuse people more. Lol, thanks for the review!

I still like the idea, but I feel like the writing in this chapter was a little rough. There were a handful of grammatical things (weird punctuation at the end of dialogue; run on sentences; missing commas, etc), and some of the other sentences just read kind of awkwardly.

Take this one, for example:

"Willow Rosenburg, her best friend and powerful witch, glanced over at Buffy and smiled."

As it reads now, you're either missing a definite article in front of powerful (ie "a powerful witch"), or you're implying that Willow, in addition to being Buffy's best friend, is also Buffy's powerful witch, which seems somewhat odd in this context.

Phrases like "glittering emerald eyes" are too heavy handed, and have a tendency to sound like something out of a bad romance novel. As a reader, I connect with characters who seem human, not characters who possess some kind of unearthly beauty; I also have trouble reconciling over the top descriptions with the characters we saw on the show. Buffy was pretty, and she had a certain amount of strength that made that her more extraordinary than the average blonde, but she was never portrayed as drop dead gorgeous, and Sarah Michelle Gellar isn't exactly considered one of the great beauties of Hollywood. She's actually pretty in a relatively normal way, and I think that's one of the things that's attractive about Buffy's character.

Also, as a general rule, adverbs are not your friend. Most writing can be strengthened if you go through and remove all of the adverbs. I personally like a few thrown in there, but some of them (such as "teasingly") throw off the pacing of the sentence at times.

I know you probably wrote this pretty quickly, and I've been known to have my fair share of weird sounding sentences and grammar snaffoos in fics myself, but you might want to consider getting a Beta reader, or if not that, just read all of your sentences out loud and try to get a sense for the rhythm, and then go through and for every abverb ask "is this one really necessary"?

Thanks for the review and suggestions. I do need a beta but for some reason when I ask for one the people that say yes never beta them. It drives me crazy so I've gotten use to just writing then posting. I'll try to find a beta.