two for one

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Title: 2 for 1
Author: Merkat
Fandom: BTVS/Surface
Summary: Xander is sent on a vacation. On his vacation he finds an odd egg. What the hell is it? And why did Willow send Xander on a boat trip.
Archive: A bit AU maybe
Rating: PG
Parts: many if I don’t get a road block.
Status: Finished? No. Nope.
Series/Sequel: Nope? No idea!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the craziness that spews out of my head. All characters belong to their respective owners.
Author notes & Warnings: No Beta. Be afraid. My mood affects my writing. So if you can’t handle that go someplace else! I like slash but do not worry if I write something spicy I give warning.

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Holding his hand out away from his face he put the little animal on the counter. It made little yipping noises and zoomed off to explore its surroundings. The other climbed out of the tank and curled around Xander foot like a little snake. Trying not to freak Xander walked over to the other lizard and watched as it tipped over condiments. When it spilled the salt, it let out a happy cry and started licking it up. The other chirped then climbed the table to lick at the spilled salt too.

“Ok little lizard dudes . . . Stay. Sit. Be good while I go this way.” Said Xander was he backed away from the playful otter-like lizards. Going to the demon books that Willow had stocked in a mini library Xander pulled out a book on water demons. Sitting his one of the lazy boy’s Xander hoped he could find info before the little grey creatures did anything hellmouthy.

He almost tossed the book out the window in frustration. There was nothing in the book about white and glowing green eggs or little water lizards. He frowned as the two little lizards scuttled in-front of him, fishy tails waving as they looked at him. One charged onto his lap without warning, the other climbed the chair lazily and curled around his neck. He sighed. “Well I guess you two aren’t that bad . . .”

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A week later
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Xander placed his hand on the white stone table and thought of a bucket of fresh fish. As the blue light disappeared, he walked onto the small deck and shook the bucket. Within minute his two little pets came a running. They scuttled to Xander electric sparks flying around their antenna. Making hungry noises, they tried to climb Xander’s legs.

“All right Lyric, Charger, here you go. Food time!” Said Xander as he threw both lizards a bit of herring. Lyr started chirping and even while he ate he hummed. His twin on the other hand was boundless with energy. Charger zipped around the deck one second then cuddle up to Xander leg the next. Once the bucket was empty both little kitten sized lizards fallowed him inside the cabin. Xander watched as Charger made a beeline for the pool and started doing laps while Lyr chirped and watched from the edge, his little head moving and bobbing as he fallowed his twins movements.

Washing his hands Xander started getting his dinner ready. This had been the routine since Xander had found his little pets. It didn’t take long for his little friends to double in size. They ate at least thirty pounds of herring every day, and more if Xander let them. But what his pets really loved was salt. Salt, salt, and more salt! They loved their salt like Xander did his twinkies. Xander even had to change his swimming pool to a salt one because his little pets loved to swim and Xander wasn’t too keen on letting them swim in the ocean.

Pulling out chicken from the freezer he cut the breasts in half and placed it in a baking pan. Digging in the cabinets Xander grabbed two cans of creamy chicken broth sauce and poured it on the chicken breasts. Grabbing some baby carrots he spread them along the top then put his quickly made meal in the oven for an hour and a half.

Pulling his shirt off Xander sat at the edge of the pool and put his feet in the water. Lyr scuttled to his side and sat by him, making chirping and clicking noises. Charger swam one more powerful lap then leaped from the water and into Xander’s lap. Charger and Lyr may look completely alike but they were very different in personality. Charger was full of boundless energy but was a cuddlier. If he wasn’t running about, he was in Xander’s lap or rubbing against his brother. He was a needy bugger.

But he was also very quiet, unlike Lyric. Both little beasts yipped and chirped all the time but that one time Xander played music Lyr started singing. He started singing and never stopped. Out of the two Lyr can almost be called lazy. He was really laid back and would often hitch a ride on Xander’s shoulder or curl around his foot.

Xander remembered how it took a whole day to find a name for them. Though Xander thought of them as his little buddies he really wasn’t sure what their gender was. So all the names he could think of had to fit them and also be good for a male or a female. They were so picky after-all. And he didn’t want them to have a complex. Therapists were expansive.


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Flash back
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“Electra?” That got him a double golden glare.

“Lightening?” A snort.

“Sparky? Blinky? Spot? Spike Jr.?” The little lizards sitting at Xander’s feet seamed less amused with each word he spoke. Throwing his hands into the air, he sighed. “Ok I give up! Will think of names later.”

Getting up Xander put in some music. One of the little lizards jumped up and started swaying with the music like a hypnotized snake. Under the sound of the music Xander could hear soft humming and chirping, it was a pleasant sound. Watching the little lizard almost dance he heard the sound of the other lizard charging off into the pool.

Trying to think of a name Xander picked up the singing lizard. “We could call you Melody. *hiss* No? Dancer? Na . . . Lyric?” Xander lifted the tiny lizard up higher so the little thing had to look down at him. “Lyric? Do you look like a Lyr?” It gave him a little glare and growl. “I think you do!” Placing Lyric on the ground he smiled as the little water lizard swayed to the music.

At the pool he watched the other one swim like an Olympic swimmer. “Maybe I should call a doctor. Something has to be wrong with you!” he said as he watched the little lizard do its twelfth lap.

Kneeling by the pool he watched it swim with ease and speed like a seal or a mako shark. Sitting there he yelled out in surprise as the little creature jumped out of the water and into his lap. It cuddled up to him for a minute then dashed off. “ I think I’ll just call you Charger . . . either that or Sir Spaz-a-lot.” He said as he watched Charger pounce on Lyric and start fighting. He watched as a little ball of fighting lizards rolled across the floor.

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‘The Saucy Lady’ was a very good boat. It was sturdy and looked nice from the outside. And hey Xander owned the only boat that had its own little dimension in it. The boat was made for rough seas and most everything in the boat was run magically, he just told it ware to go and it went. But Xander had a feeling his boat wasn’t made for freaky lightening storms and big huge assed monsters screaming about. Even Xander’s little lizards were freaked. They would scream around then hide in Xander’s arms. Right now Xander was walking around uncomfortably with his to little pets in his shirt.

Running into the wheel room Xander looked out the wide window. The water looked to be boiling and fat bolts of lightening shot out through the sky. Everywhere he looked Xander could see green puddles on the water and dark shapes swimming about. Grabbing the steering wheel Xander turned his boat about. He needed to get the hell out of this whatever it is!!!!!!!!!!

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The next morning Xander awoke on the floor of the wheel room with his two little pets curled up together in his shirt. Looking out side Xander sighed. It was clear and sunny like the storm had not even happened. Looking at his sleepy lizards he shrugged as both climbed onto his shoulders.

Walking onto his deck Xander blinked. Forty or so yards out in the water were two very wet people on a deflating raft. They were both unconscious. Cursing Xander put Lyric and Charger inside and locked the door. Climbing the ladder he went to the outer steering wheel and pulled the boat up next to the water logged couple.

“Hey! You guy’s need a lift?” The moment he spoke the man and woman jolted awake, and man even fell out of the raft.

“Yes! Sir. Please our boat sank! My name is Laura Daughtery and this is Richard Connelly. Thank you for the help.” Said the woman as she struggled to board. Helping them both aboard he looked them over. They were soaked to the bone and resembled wet and angry alley cats.
“I’ll get you two some blankets and food.” Mumbled Xander as he went into the cabin. Putting his hand on his new favorite cooking tool, he spoke. “Two warm blankets and hot beef stew.” After a flash of bright blue light two thick fleece blankets and two deep bowls of stew sat on a silver tray. Xander was going to pick out the tray when a scream sounded.

Running outside with an axe Xander’s eyes widened as the man tried to catch Lyr who was hissing at him near the edge of the boat. The woman was chasing his Charger . . . Xander could see sparks lighting from both of his pets. *Wonder if I should just let my little buddies teach them a lesson. * Thought Xander as he watched the spikes in his pet’s heads rattle. Deciding to interfere he banged his axe against the wall. He didn’t really like the smell of burnt hair anyway.

“What are you two doing?”


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Review. What should happen next?