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Agents of the C.O.A.

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Summary: Crack!Fic. Mistress Jinni and her *cracktastic* team of COA Agents work towards crossover chaos. Multiple fandoms by multiple authors. Add a chapter if you dare...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General(Moderator)Saturn + 13 othersFR133834,313311018,77325 Oct 0628 Jul 07No

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? by (Moderator)KaylaShay

Title: Agents of the C.O.A.
Author: Kayla Shay
Disclaimer: Don't own Buffy or Supernatural or the Chevy Impala. Although I wouldn't mind taking a ride in the Impala sometime... :-D
FFA Pairing: Since I looked at it hadn't been taken yet... Xander/Dean

Note: Some dialogue was used and/or altered from the Pilot episode of Supernatural. Of course this continues the crack!fic and also brings to light an issue Jinni touched on concerning the supernatural properties of Dean's Impala.

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Story #2: Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
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Sweeping out over the flat Kansas landscape, a dust cloud was stirring behind a black 1967 Chevy Impala. The car was speeding down the back roads and the blaring sound of Metallica could be heard for what seemed like miles around. Within the confines of the car, Dean Winchester was stewing. He never could deal with emotional trauma well and this was one trying time. His brother, Sam, was at college in Stanford, California, of all places and their dad was missing. In a normal family, that situation would involve calling the police, filing a missing persons report and then contacting family members by phone. But Dean was not part of a so-called "normal" family. His mother had been killed by a demon and his dad, an ex-marine, had made it his mission to rid the world of demons, especially the one that killed his wife. Dean and Sam were raised on the road, going from one mission to another in attempt to fight the supernatural. Now, their father was missing and Dean had to go play nice with the brother that deserted them in an attempt for that normal life.

**FLASH**

With a bright flash of light the scene seemed to freeze. The car froze in place. The dust cloud floated as if it were a solid mass suspended in midair. The Metallica song was even stuck on one ear piercing note. But none of that disturbed the men in black that suddenly streamed around the car out of nowhere.

In complete synchronicity, they hooked the car into various straps and harnesses as a low rumbled echoed across the countryside. A large circular transport ship had just made an astonishing vertical landing in the neighboring corn field. Unfortunately, no one other than the men in black could witness it. They pushed a button on a simple garage door opener and a ramp unfolded from the circular ship creating a bridge over the untouched corn.

The men hooked the straps that were around the car to a tow line from the ship and carefully hauled it up the ramp and inside. Agent 99 spoke into his lapel mic, "Ground situation covered. Transport pick up contents to Sunnydale, California for re-insertion. Copy?"

The staticky response came as the ship retracted the ramp and charged for liftoff. "Copy that 99. Good luck!" The ship shot straight up into the sky and then vanished to the west, leaving an intricately patterned circle in the middle of the corn field.

As time in Kansas restarted itself, a dust cloud on a deserted road gently fell to the ground.

**FLASH**

Dean looked up as he drove past a sign that said Welcome to Sunnydale. A wave of disorientation hit him as thoughts of 'must get to Stanford' became 'finally made it to Sunnydale'. He didn't notice that his watched told him it was only two hours earlier that he was driving through Kansas.

'Now to find Sunnydale High School,' he thought to himself. 'Definitely don't want to tangle with that son-of-a-bitch husband of aunt Jessica's.'

He couldn't have timed it better. Just as he pulled up in front of the school, kids started pouring out all around. It was then that he spotted his target and, parking his baby at the curb, walked over to greet his baby brother.

"Dean?!" the voice of his brother rang out over the crowd. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was looking for a some jail bait," Dean replied, casting a appreciating eye over the three girls that were walking with his brother.

"What the hell are you doing here?" his brother repeated one more time.

"Okay, alright, we gotta talk," Dean said in his casual manner.

"Ah, the phone."

"If I'd of called, would you have picked up?" Dean questioned.

"Xander?" the girl with the long dark brunette hair spoke up, casting glances between the two males.

"Cordy, um," Xander stuttered as if he had forgotten all about the girls being there. "Dean, this is my, um, girlfriend Cordelia and also Buffy and you remember Willow," he made a gesture to each girl as he named them.

Dean walked up to get a closer look at each girl and left his eyes trailing on both Cordelia and Buffy for a little too long.

Willow face took on a look of concentration as if she had forgotten that she had known who this person was as long as she had known Xander. Then her face lit up as she practically bounced, "Xander, why didn't you tell me your brother was coming to town?"

"I didn't know," Xander responded in an accusing tone directed at Dean.

"Well, as nice as this after school program is, I've got to borrow S-ander here and talk about some private family business," Dean started to grab Xander's arm trying not think about the lapse where he wanted to call his brother Sammy. He didn't even know anyone named Sammy.

"No," Xander said, with his resolve face firmly in place. "No, whatever you want to say you can say it in front of them."

"Okay," Dean replied and Xander knew that his brother gave in too easily. "Um, dad hasn't been home in a few days."

"So," Xander snorted. "Why should I care?"

Dean attempted again by saying, "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days."

Wave of confusion played on Xander's face. He knew that hunting trips were important, but why? Then the cloud cleared from his mind and his heart sank. "Ladies," he said to the girls around him. "We need to get to the library pronto. Something hellmouthy is up and it involves my dad."

Dean stared in confusion as the girls turned around to head back to the school. He was sure that he heard the blonde one mutter something about not wanting to get demon blood on her new shoes and the brunette was chattering about some social gathering she would miss to do research in the moldy library. "What's going on here Xander?" he questioned his little brother.

"Dad missing is of the bad right? Well, see you two up and left me on the mouth of hell when dad decided to have aunt Jessica take care of me. We deal with something new every week, so grab your things and come on."

Dean shook head as he walked into the school with his brother who was telling him stories of vampires, possessions and some bug lady who tried to have him fertilize her eggs. He didn't once consider that he was in the wrong place and had the wrong brother.

The End

Note Part 2: So who is going to take the next shot?
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