Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and JKR. Remember these names. These are the names of masters. Of visionaries. Of the people who own these characters.



“No...this just can't be happening. WHY didn't you tell me?”

“Would you have gone through with the training if I had mentioned it?”

“Yes! No. I don't know. Dammit, Severus, I had the right to know. I mean, this is my LIFE, and now I can't even...I can't even...Argh! I can't even say it!”

“Oh, come on Wills! It's not so bad!”

“Not so bad?! NOT SO BAD?! Let me ask you something, Xander Lavelle Harris. What would YOU say if I told you 'Nope, sorry, you won't be eating any more Twinkies ever again. They're just not in character any more,' hmm? What about then?”

“Don't even kid about that, Willow.”

“See?! Why can he be squieked about that, and I have to be all mature a-a-and un-squieked about this?”

“You have an execrable sense of the English language. And to answer your questions, because I trained you to be better than that. I simply cannot allow you to demean your new position like this.”

“But...please?”

“No, Miss Rosenberg.”

“Severus, we're dating. You can call me 'Willow' now.”

“Very well. No, Willow.”

“But...how about on weekends? That's fine, right? Or maybe just-”

“Absolutely not.”

“But-”

“My dear girl, you are in a position of power and thus must make certain sacrifices to keep your dignity.'”

“But does that absolutely mean that I have to give up baking COOKIES?”

“Yes.”

“...I hate you.”