Chapter One

TITLE: Looking for acceptance

AUTHOR: Methos (ianblyth2005@btinternet.com)

DISTRIBUTION: If ya want to host it somewhere else just tell me where ya putting it ok? ;)

DISCLAIMER: All things BtVS belong to Joss Whedon, Methos, Adam Pierson, Joe and all things Highlander belong to Davis-Panzer productions.

SUMMARY: After Joyce's death, Buffy and Dawn find out something stunning, Hank wasn't Buffy's real father, her father was someone that Joyce went to college with according to her diaries, a man named Adam Pierson...

Starting with finding their 'father', the girls try and get to know the man who fell in love with their mother... Why he left, and what he does now...

Things may get a bit complected along the road, because Adam can't have children, and he never could... Though he did love Joyce, with all his heart... So he now takes it upon himself to look after her children.

Maybe Adam Pierson can't have children, but that's not going to stop him from having this family for as long as he can, and protecting it with all the will of the ages.

FEEDBACK: Love it :) Either here or to my email addresses.

RELATIONSHIPS: Nope

RATING: FR18

SPOILERS: Joyce's Death Buffy timeline, Methos Highlander timeline.




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The funeral had been hard on everyone; Buffy was sat in her bedroom crying, as she had done every night for the last week. Giles was downstairs, dealing with the paperwork and phone calls that kept coming. Buffy was in no state to talk to anyone, let alone her relatives who kept calling, asking if she was alright, and with mock sympathy asking if there was anything they could do for her.

"I’m all alone now." Buffy sobbed into her pillow as she looked out the window at the moonlit garden. The words from Angelus echoed in her mind from four years ago. 'You’re always alone'. With that thought she started crying even harder than before.


=/^\=


"Is she ok?" Dawn asked Giles as she came into the living room.

"Dawn, you should be in bed." Giles said, smiling softly at the teen.

"Can't sleep, I just keep seeing..." Dawn trailed the sentence off, not wanting to say the words... Not wanting to let the pain back in.

"Shhh." Giles comforted her as he stood up and wrapped his arms around her. "You'll be ok Dawn, I promise it."

Dawn finally let herself break down into Giles arms; finally letting the tears rack her body as the grief came flooding back in.

"Dawn." Came a quiet voice from the stairs, casing both of them to turn around.

"Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed first, wriggling out of Giles' embrace and running towards her sister, her only family left.

Buffy held out her arms, embracing her sister completely and holding her as tight as she could. "Thank you" she whispered over Dawn's shoulder to Giles, causing him to smile softly and nod his head.

"Are you ok?" Dawn asked, pulling her face away from Buffy's shoulder and smiling slightly as her hair got tangled for a brief moment.

"I'm trying." Buffy said, smiling at her sister, trying to put on a brave face for her.

"I was just about to leave." Giles said, coughing quietly to get their attention. "I have gone through all of the... financial paperwork; the remaining box is her personal papers. I felt it would be best if I left you those."

"Thank you; I don't know what we would have done without you Giles." Buffy said, looking him in the eyes so he knew how grateful she was.

"You don't have to thank me Buffy; if there is anything else I can do for you, anything at all, just call." Giles said, smiling as he pulled his coat on and moved to the door.

"Giles... I..." Dawn tried to say how grateful she was, but the words just wouldn't come. Instead she just ran up to him and hugged him as tight as she could.

"I know Dawn, I mean it though, anything at all and you call me. That goes for you as well Dawn." Giles said, leaning down and kissing her softly on her forehead before leaving.

Buffy just smiled at him as he left, then moved over and sat on the couch. "Are you ok Dawn?" She asked, shuffling over so her sister could have her normal side of the couch.

"I miss her, I miss her so much Buffy." Dawn said, nearly breaking into tears again.

"I know, so do I." Buffy replied as she laid her hand on her sisters’ shoulder.

"What are all these?" Dawn asked, trying to change the subject by nodding to the boxes which littered the living room.

"Mom's old things, diaries, paperwork, all sorts of things. I've got to go through them and find all the paperwork for the gallery and all the insurance papers. Mom kept all her financial stuff separate so those were easy to find. Insurance not so easy though." Buffy said, smiling at the memories that came back of when they had first moved to Sunnydale and Joyce had opened the gallery.

"Can I help?" Dawn asked, looking at Buffy hopefully.

"Sure." Buffy smiled, she knew how Dawn was feeling, not wanting to be left out of anything and just wanting something to keep her mind busy. She walked over and picked up one of the shoeboxes and passed it to Dawn. "Here you go; this one should be some of mom's old diaries. Maybe there’s some insurance numbers or something in one of those."

"You want me to go through mom's diaries?" Dawn asked, her face a mixture of shock and amazement.

"We've got to, somewhere in all of this is the insurance codes and numbers for all the stuff in the gallery. We need all of that." Buffy said, nodding to the rest of the boxes. "I can do the diaries if you want, and you can take the rest of it?" Buffy grinned at the six boxes of diaries compared to the twelve larger boxes of paperwork and folders from the gallery office.

Dawn looked and realized what the rest was. "No... The diaries are fine... It's just..."

"I know..." Buffy said, kissing dawn on the shoulder before standing up.

"Where should I start?" Dawn asked, looking down at the diaries and cringing at some of the dates on the front of them.

"The beginning? You know mom, she was always going back and using old books and papers to jot things down on, maybe she used an old diary for the numbers, I don't know, anywhere." Buffy said, grimacing herself at the mammoth task that was in front of them.

"June fifth, nineteen seventy one." Dawn read out loud, smiling as she thought about her mother at that time.

"She was in college then." Buffy filled in, "Mom used to talk about her days back in college, she loved it. It was before she met Hank."

Neither of them called Hank their father anymore, they'd both tried to contact him for the funeral but their voices had fallen on deaf ears. Hank didn't want anything to do with them or Joyce anymore, he'd been cut out of the will so he didn't even bother taking half of their calls, the rest he just hung up on them when he realized who they were.

"Wow, seems like she was in love back here..." Dawn grinned; reading the diaries like this was like knowing her mom even better. It was like understanding someone’s thoughts, knowing what they had been through. "Some guy named Adam."

"Ohhh, mom had a boy friend?" Buffy asked, putting her box down and swinging her legs round to sit crossed legged on the couch so she could hear some more about her mom.

"They were exclusive apparently. She was in Art History and he was in Myths and Legends... Oh my god!" Dawn shrieked as she scanned further down the page.

"What?" Buffy asked, now really intrigued by this, what sort of man could her mother have been interested in.

"He posed for her..." Dawn paused for effect. "Nude... in her apartment."

"Oh god." Buffy said, going a little red at the thought of her mom painting some guy nude.

"They had a candle lit dinner, he cooked apparently. Then he posed for her and she painted him, he bought it off her afterwards, for a lot of money." Dawn whistled at the amount that was mentioned in the diary.

"Wow," Buffy said, leaning over so she could get a look at how much he had paid for it. "I'm guessing mom embellished certain 'aspects' of the painting?" Buffy giggled.

"Back then that would have put her through college on its own." Dawn mused, "Looks like he really took care of her, cooking for her, taking her out and paying for everything, she says they were in love." Dawn said, skipping through a few pages of the diary before putting it down and picking up a new one.

"Wow, she sounds so happy with him, does it say why they broke up?" Buffy asked, noting the big pink heart on the cover of the new diary with JS 4 AP scrawled in glitter ink.

"This one's from seventy eight, they were still together. When did mom and Hank meet?" Dawn asked, placing the diary aside for one minute so she could listen to Buffy.

"Sometime in the eighties I think, mom didn't like to talk about him." Buffy said vaguely.

Dawn just nodded, not wanting to open that can of worms again she picked up the new diary and flicked through it. "More about Adam, he got a job somewhere after college, doing research." she paused, giggling. "Maybe Giles knows him?"

"Maybe." Buffy grinned, maybe he was a watcher now, certainly sounded the type, studying Myths and Legends at college.

"Nothing in this one, just more about Adam and mom." Dawn said, putting the diary on the table with the other and picking out a new one. "They moved in together, mom was happy with him." Dawn smiled as she read the words and flicked though it, quickly glancing at all the pages before putting the diary with the others. "Hey, this one's in nighteen eighty." Dawn said, smiling at Buffy as she picked another diary up.

"Does this one say why they split up?" Buffy asked, it seemed like her mom was really happy with Adam, this mystery man from her mom's past.

"No, not yet." Dawn said, flicking through page after page. "She really wrote a lot here, about her and Adam, this one says they were really in love, mom calls in 'true love' and 'soul mates'." Dawn smiled, looking at the diary pages.

"Wow, wonder why mom never said anything about him?" Buffy said, glancing at the diaries.

"Uh, Buffy, there's an entry here dated may tenth nineteen eighty. She told Adam she was pregnant." Dawn said softly, wincing at the look that Buffy gave her before she snatched the diary off her.

"Pregnant? Mom never said anything about another baby." Buffy said, sounding almost outraged as she flicked through the pages, reading entry after entry about how their mother was looking forward to having the baby.

"We have an older brother or sister?" Dawn asked, standing up and moving to the cabinet where Buffy kept all of her documents.

"I don't know... it says here that Adam was going to stand with her, but they were arguing about something, it doesn't say what but he really upset her." Buffy said, turning the page and reading some more.

"Buffy, I don't think we have an older brother or sister." Dawn said, coming back from the cabinet with a piece of paper in her hands.

"We could have, I don't know, I haven't got to that part yet." Buffy said, now flicking through the pages quicker, wanting to know. Did she have an older brother or sister out there, someone that their mother never told them about?

"Buffy, when were you born?" Dawn asked slowly, knowing full well the date but wanting Buffy to piece it together for herself.

"February nineteenth." Buffy said on reflex, not getting what Dawn was asking for.

"Nineteen eighty one." Dawn filled in.

"Yes, nineteen eighty one..." Buffy repeated slowly, before trailing off as she put it together in her head.

"And when did mom meet Hank?" Dawn asked.

"I don't know, it isn't in here. Mom broke it up with Adam when he wanted to move to Washington, she didn't want to go because she wanted to go back to school to do her masters." Buffy explained as she read the diary.

"Where?" Dawn asked, reaching behind the sofa for her laptop and booting it up.

"Seacouver, he broke mom's heart but he had to go, work or something." Buffy filled in, understanding that sometimes wok and destiny have to take precedent over your personal life.

"Adam Pierson." Dawn said as she typed the name in and used every trick that Willow had taught her to find him.

"You think he's our father?" Buffy asked, as she sat down, now fully taking in what she'd found out tonight.

"He's your father, the diary proves that. That makes him my father as well; I wonder why she never told you?" Dawn asked as she waited for the computer to finish searching.

"I don't know, do you think he ever tried to contact mom? You know, find out about me?" Buffy asked, her brain now running through scenario after scenario, wondering what he was like, what he did, who he was.

"I don't know Buffy; maybe he tried and couldn’t find us?" Dawn filled in, wanting to keep Buffy's spirits high as long as she could.

"What do you think he's like?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know... hey, the computers found something. Adam Pierson, 86 Northfleet Seacouver. He's the right age, did mom have a picture of Adam in her diaries?" Dawn asked, glancing at the grainy photo displayed on her laptop.

"Yeah, hold on." Buffy said, grabbing one of the older diaries and flicking through it until she came to the page where a Polaroid was taped to the page.

"Cute." Dawn said as she looked at the picture in the diary. 'Adam' was sprawled out against a wall wearing just some jeans, exposing his taught chest. Long curly dark brown hair cascaded over his shoulders. "Looks like it's the same guy Buffy, looking quite good for his age as well from what I can tell, this photo isn't that good though."

Buffy moved over and held the photo up next to the monitor so she could compare the two. "Yeah, looks like it him, right age and name. Wonder what he does?"

"It doesn't say, there's no contact number or anything, only an address. Should we send him a letter or something?" Dawn asked, now actually wanting to know more about the person that was her 'father'.

"What about a trip?" Buffy asked with a glint in her eye and a smile.

"You want to go and see him?" Dawn asked, amazed.

"Well what would you put in a letter? Face to face would be better, besides he deserves to know that mom died, he was the love of her life according to these." Buffy explained.

"And what if it isn't him?" Dawn asked, not wanting to het her hopes up.

"Then we've had a good trip away from it all, and kept you away from Glory for a few weeks." Buffy explained, a vacation would be good, to get away from it all, come back with a clean slate so to speak.

"Buffy, it's over a thousand miles away. How are we going to get there?" Dawn asked, plotting the course in her brain, up to Seattle and then round the coast a bit.

"We?" Buffy asked sarcastically.

"Oh you aren't doing this without me, it's just us now, there's no way you are leaving me out of this. Besides, he's my father as well." Dawn shouted, outraged that her sister would even think about doing this without her.

"I'm just joking Dawn, we'll take a plane or something. Find a hotel to stay out there for a week or so." Buffy smiled as she explained.

"What about slaying, and the Scoobies?" Dawn asked, knowing how important it was for Buffy to be the slayer.

"I'll tell them I need some time away, the vamp's and demons seem to be taking a break anyway with Glory in town. Maybe it would be good to get away; a thousand miles is pretty far." Buffy smiled, everyone had been saying that Glory was bad news and that she should find a way out. Now that Dawn had found out that she was the Key and that she was the one Glory was after... maybe taking her away from Glory was the best idea anyway.

"After all this time of you telling us that you don't want to run from her, now you want to run practically to Canada and get away from it all?" Dawn asked, disbelieving what she was hearing.

"If it keeps you safe. As you said, it's only me and you now. I've got to take care of you, if that means running to England with you I'll do it." Buffy said, reassuring Dawn.

"Do you think Giles and everyone will be ok with it?" Dawn asked.

"I think so, they'll understand Buffy." Dawn smiled and hugged her sister.

"I'll call Giles then, can you find out how much plane tickets and hotels will be?" Buffy asked, waving at the computer.

"Sure, one week?" Dawn asked, not sure how long they should take away.

"Make it three; the longer we are away from Glory the better." Buffy said as she picked up the phone.

"Three weeks in Washington, sounds good." Dawn smiled.


=/^\=


"Have you got everything?" Buffy asked for the fifth time as they walked out of the airport.

"God, yes Buffy, I got all my bags and my coat." Dawn said, exasperated with her sister after spending nearly four hours on a plane together.

"I just want to make sure we've got everything." Buffy said, smiling as Dawn rolled her eyes. "Where's the hotel?"

"Eighty fifth on the Overcliff." Dawn repeated, smiling at the 'Welcome to Seacouver' sign outside the airport.

"Taxi!" Buffy yelled, picking up her bags when a cab pulled up.

"Cold here." Dawn noted, sliding on a coat before she put her bags in the trunk of the cab.

"Yeah, definitely not California anymore." Buffy agreed, wishing she'd kept a coat on her like Dawn did.

"Where ya heading?" The driver asked, smiling at the girls as they got into the back seat of the car.

"Eighty fifth, the map say's opposite Joe's bar?" Buffy said, glancing at the map for more details.

"Joe's, 'kay." The driver said, smiling before driving off.

"Joe's?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, some jazz bar. The hotel was quite cheap, and it's a nice area. You know we couldn't afford much, but we'll deal." Buffy smiled, they were only going to be here for a few weeks, and the hotel was cheap.

"Sounds good, maybe if we end up staying longer you could get a job there?" Dawn smiled, it was weird, they'd been out of Sunnydale nearly a day now and the change in Buffy was amazing. She seemed different somehow, lighter, more full of life.


=/^\=


AN2: Eep... thanks to RachelK and maryh to telling me where seacouver is...

I know it was supposed to be near Washington... I automatically assumed Washington DC, not the state... my bad...

Thanks for the heads up, fic adjusted accordingly :D

M

:EDIT:

Wow, editied again lol

Hopefully I've now fully fixed the age with Joyce and the distance traveled bit... Hopefully...

If anyone does spot any more errors, please let me know and I'll deal with them ASAP :D

Glad people are enjoying this, and more to come soon

M