Chapter Two: Reunion, Part II

Chapter Two: Reunion, Part II

Carson pulled Dawn off to the infirmary, and John didn’t think she ever saw him standing there in the crowded room. She had to know he was there, that he was the military commander of Atlantis, but she never looked in his direction. John watched Carson and Dawn head down the hallway, then turned to face Rodney and Elizabeth.

“How the hell –” Rodney nearly screamed, his face red with anger. John flinched, knew he did but couldn’t help it. That, more than Elizabeth’s hand on his arm, stopped Rodney in his tracks.

“We’re discussing this later,” he said furiously, then folded his arms and didn’t look at John anymore. “Elizabeth, we need to shut down the gate so I can figure out what happened and make sure it never happens again.”

It was an equal bet, whether he meant the gate turning green or the gate disgorging relatives that John had never mentioned.

“I’m holding all remaining personnel,” General Landry said, and John had almost forgotten he was on the line. “We’ll push through the remaining boxes, send the databurst, and shut down the stargate until we can find out what happened.”

Elizabeth quietly said, “John, please wait in my office,” so he went, walked away and shut the door behind him. He all but fell onto Elizabeth’s couch, closed his eyes and waited for this to make sense. The stargate turning freaky colors was bad enough, but Pegasus was full of bad stuff, so that was practically normal. Dawn, though….

Dawn was part of the bad stuff from Earth. Nothing John ever talked about, nothing he wanted to think about. Dawn wasn’t a bad kid herself, but she was family, and that made her part of all those bad old memories.

His parents’ divorce when he was eleven. His dad remarrying and having another kid right away. His mom getting sick. His mom dying when he was thirteen. His dad showing up at the funeral and taking John away to play Happy Family with Barbara and Dawn. Screaming fights with his dad about potential and effort. Chilly silences from Barbara, who wanted nothing to do with the boy living in her home. Dawn tagging behind him through it all, cheerful and happy and so damned loved that the differences still made John’s chest hurt all these years later.

Dawn, a memory of long hair and skinned knees. Tall and thin, dark blue eyes and wide mouth. Looking so much like John that people thought Barbara was his mother, too.

He hadn’t known she’d gone into the military. Hadn’t spoken with her since he graduated college, although there’d been a few letters back and forth during his service. Hadn’t seen her since the awful fight with his dad after Afghanistan. She’d been about twenty then, peeking through the front windows while John and his dad had it out on the lawn, since his dad wouldn’t let him in the house.

She’d banged on the glass when he’d stormed away, but John hadn’t turned around. Hadn’t dared to. Closed off that part of his life and hadn’t looked back since.

Atlantis had become his life. His second chance at a home, a family, a place to be himself and be good at it. A place where he was the favorite child, even if it was only to a city of steel and stone.

John didn’t know if he could treat her like just another marine. The silver tab on her collar marked her as one of his lieutenants, but John didn’t think he could treat her like the rest of them. There had to be a certain distance, a certain respect between the CO and his command, and John didn’t think he’d get either from Dawn. How the hell could she respect him when she’d seen him at his worst? Heard so many years worth of criticism and disapproval directed at him?

What the fuck had Landry been thinking, to send her here of all places?

Why did she go into the marines, for god’s sake? Their dad must’ve shit a brick over that one, but John could still remember Dawn’s stubborn streak from when she was little, and it made sense that she’d join the military, be like her daddy, but do it on her own terms. Who had recruited her to the SGC? John’s actions had nearly ruined the Sheppard family’s good name in the military, and only his funky ATA genes had –

John’s hands clenched on his knees, and he felt shock spearing through him.

Did Dawn have the gene?

She must have it. That had to be why Landry sent her to Atlantis. There was a guideline that you didn’t ship family members out together. Not a rule so much as a really fucking good idea. That movie Saving Private Ryan had been based on a true story, after all, and that was the kind of letter that no CO wanted to write to grieving family members.

Having the gene would be the only reason to send Dawn out here. But why couldn’t she stay at the Mountain? Back in the day, General O’Neill had bitched incessantly that they needed a full time light-switch that wasn’t him, so why send Dawn across the galaxy when she didn’t need to?

John’s head was starting to hurt.

Which of course made it the perfect time for Rodney and Elizabeth to show up.

“Three years!” Rodney snapped as he walked into the room, shoving through the doorway and advancing on John. “Three years and not one word about your family. I thought you were an only child!”

“Rodney, please,” Elizabeth said as she settled at her desk. She obviously wanted to know as well, though, giving John that passive raised-eyebrow look. Elizabeth could say a lot without opening her mouth.

John did not want to get into this, but he couldn’t avoid it. He owed them an explanation, without quite knowing why he owed them one. Maybe if he did this fast he could get through it with minimal yelling from Rodney.

He looked down at his knees and took a deep breath. “My parents divorced, my dad got remarried, and Dawn was born when I was twelve. Later I went off to college, then the Air Force, and I only saw her on the occasional holiday. We weren’t close.”

Rodney opened his mouth, but Elizabeth beat him to it.

“Rodney, I need you to find out what happened with the stargate. Please go over the readings and have your report to me this evening.”

Rodney turned to her, stunned and obviously ready to argue, but Elizabeth had her steely face on. The one that said do not fuck with me, but said it politely.

“Fine,” Rodney snapped, hands fisted at his sides. He glared at them both, then stomped out of the room. The door banged behind him and John winced.

“Elizabeth….”

“I’m going down to the infirmary to speak with Carson. He should have finished checking out Lt Sheppard by now.”

She looked at him patiently, kindly, but didn’t say anything else. John knew she could. She could say don’t you want to see your sister? or do you think you can still do your job? but instead she sat and waited for John.

It didn’t take him long.

“I’ll go with you. Hear what Carson has to say. See Dawn.”

Elizabeth nodded approvingly, giving him that small smile of hers.

John followed her to the infirmary, most definitely not hiding behind her when they went in. Carson was right up front, talking to a nurse, but he looked up and came over right away. There was a bed at the end of the row with the drapes pulled closed.

“Carson,” Elizabeth smiled, “how is Lt Sheppard?”

Carson’s questioning eyes flicked to John, but he answered Elizabeth. “She’s doing well. Not so much as a bump or scrape, although she does have a headache, and it was touch and go there for a bit with the nausea. Lt Sheppard complained of vertigo at first, but that seems to have passed. I’ve run a few tests and scans, and everything seems to be fine. I’m holding the lieutenant overnight for observation but I’ll clear her for active duty in the morning.”

John let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “So she’s okay?”

“Aye, lad,” Carson grinned. “A wee shook up, but nothing more.”

“That’s great,” he said. “Can I…?” He waved a hand toward the draped bed.

“Go ahead. I’m sure Lt Sheppard will be happy to see you.”

John didn’t know about that, but he left Carson and Elizabeth chatting behind him and made his way to the end of the row.

He didn’t want to just twitch the curtain aside, so he said "Knock, knock," and rolled his eyes at himself.

“Who is it?” came Dawn’s amused voice. John parted the curtains and slipped inside, standing near the foot of her bed with the curtains brushing his back. She was seated in bed, blankets pulled up and boots tucked neatly next to the side-table. The pale blue hospital gown was a good color on her.

“Hey, Dawnie,” he said, trying out a grin. “How’re you doing?”

She smiled back, a brighter version of his own. “I bruised my pride, but everything else is fine.”

John stood there a moment, not sure what to say. How did you greet a relative that you liked, but preferred to stay long-lost?

Dawn solved it for him. “Hey, Johnny, I know you’re my CO and all, but can’t I get a hug?”

“Sure,” he said, and moved forward. John leaned over the bed awkwardly and wrapped his arms around Dawn as she held him tightly. They stayed that way longer than John liked, but Dawn didn’t let go until she was ready. John straightened when she released him and shuffled back a couple steps to get some air.

“So does your stargate normally do that?” Dawn asked, head tilted to the side. “Because I’ve been through the Earth stargate more than a few times, and that has never happened before.”

“Pretty much a one-time thing, I hope,” John said. He crossed his arms and leaned against the side-table. “Rodney, that’s Dr. McKay, the CSO, he’s working on it now. Don’t worry about it, though. If something is wrong with the gate, Rodney can fix it.”

“Good to know,” Dawn said, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. “How are you doing? Congratulations on the big promotion, by the way. I sent a card when I found out, but I didn’t know if you got it or not, since I haven’t heard from you in years. And I can really understand why. I mean with the whole top-secret-alien-city gig you’ve got going on. Which is totally awesome….”

John remembered this. Remembered the way Dawn could go on and on, her SoCal speech patterns hiding the big brain he knew she had.

“Dawn,” he said softly, cutting her off. “I’m happy to see you,” which was only partially a lie, “but what are you doing here?”

She plucked at the bed sheet, worrying at a loose thread. “I asked for a transfer out here. I have the ATA gene, got tested for it back in basic like everyone else, so the SGC recruited me. They’re snapping up everyone they can, trying to get all the Ancient equipment working. I spent awhile at the Mountain with SG-9 and SG-4, doing the first contact and trade relations thing. It was pretty cool. All ‘we come in peace, now give us your naquadah,’ you know?”

John smirked at that. “Oh, yeah, I know. You’ll get a lot more of that out here, although it’ll be ‘we come in peace, now give us your fruit’.”

“The things they don’t tell you in orientation,” Dawn huffed.

“What brings you to Atlantis? Get bored at the SGC and decide to trade space snakes for space vampires?”

“Umm, not really,” she said, and was she blushing? Definitely. Dawn’s cheeks had gone very pink. “There’s a lot of gossip that goes around the Mountain, and I started hearing your name. I had no idea that you were part of the SGC, before that. Last I heard you were doing the McMurdo thing, then you were listed as serving in a classified location. I tried to find out where but I didn’t have the clearance.”

“So you hopped galaxies to come visit me?” John asked, his voice rising incredulously. “Jesus, Dawn. This place isn’t a cakewalk! There’s a better than good chance that you’ll get killed out here.”

“I know that!” she snapped back. “I applied for the Atlantis mission and went through the intro course, same as everybody else. I’ve read a bunch of the mission reports, and I knew what I was getting into! I’m not a little kid anymore, Johnny!”

“No,” he said coldly, and leaned forward. “Now you’re a big tough marine who’s going to go through the stargate to alien planets and run into space vampires who will suck the life out of you. Or you’ll get captured and killed by crazy alien farmers who think they need to sacrifice you to their god. Or, if we’re both really fucking lucky the crazy Amish people will find out you’re my sister and torture and kill you just to piss me off.”

“That’s not going to happen!” Dawn’s eyes glittered, but it was with anger, not tears. “I’m good at my job. And I spent a lot of time thinking about it before I transferred to the SGA.”

“Good for you,” John said tightly. “How much time do you think I’m going to spend writing the letter telling Dad and Barbara that you were KIA under my command?”

“Johnny –” Dawn’s voice lost the angry edge, went soft and easy as she held her hand up to him.

He stepped away. “I haven’t talked to them in years, Dawn. I can’t let my first letter home be like that. Go back. Apply for a transfer back to Earth. I’m sure your parents will be happy to have you home again.”

“They won’t be,” she said. Dawn stared at him with eyes so like his own. “They won’t talk to me anymore. Dad had a fit when I went into the Marine Corps and not the Air Force. Threatened to disown me, same as he did to you. I didn’t think he meant it.”

“But he did,” John said. “You had to know he did. He did it to me, after I got the black mark in Afghanistan. He wanted me to take the discharge and let the bureaucracy sweep everything under the rug. It really pissed him off when I wouldn’t.”

“I remember. Everyone in the neighborhood could hear you guys.”

“Yeah,” John snorted. “Family drama right out in the open. He probably hated that more than anything.”

“Maybe he hated that things had gotten so bad between you,” Dawn said. “He didn’t hate you, John. He just didn’t understand why you did some of the things you did.”

“Like flying against orders to rescue a couple guys who were already dead,” John said flatly.

“Don’t,” Dawn said, her voice high and sharp. “Don’t do that.”

They watched each other, the silence between them heavy and thick. He could hear the hum of the overhead lights, the faint murmur of Elizabeth’s and Carson’s voices drifting from his office. John wanted to turn on his heel, to run out of there and just get away from this.

“I’m sorry,” Dawn said finally. “I didn’t mean to…. I wanted to surprise you. A good kind of surprise. I didn’t want to see you and have it be like this.”

“I didn’t either,” John agreed. “I don’t think you have any idea how it felt for me, seeing you come through the gate like that.”

“It wasn’t exactly the big hello I was planning,” Dawn said, a rueful smile pulling her mouth up on one side. “I kinda had this idea of popping up during roll call or something.”

“Major Lorne usually handles that stuff,” John shrugged. “I have minions now.”

Dawn laughed. “Minions are cool.”

“Yeah,” John said. “Look. If you want to stay, then you can stay. But I’m telling you now, when you’re here, you’re under my command. I’ll treat you like my lieutenant, not my sister, and you’ll treat me like your CO. No calling me ‘Johnny’ out in the field, got it?”

“Yes, sir,” Dawn said crisply, and John rolled his eyes. “Seriously, though. I get it.”

“Good,” John said. Now the smile on his face felt natural, an organic thing that happened as he gazed down at Dawn. “You look great, by the way.”

“What, in this old thing?” Dawn asked, tugging at her gown. “You look good, too. But you might want to eat something before you fade away. Seriously, I think you’ve gotten skinnier since college.” She eyed him critically, and John fought the urge to fidget.

“Thanks,” he said dryly.

John heard Elizabeth leave Carson’s office, then the squeak of Carson’s shoes against the tile as he walked over.

“I think the Doc is coming to kick me out,” John said. “Get some rest. Tomorrow’s going to be busy for you.”

“I will. And thanks, Johnny.”

John nodded, then reached over to pat Dawn on the shoulder. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He pulled the curtain aside and stepped out, meeting Carson in the narrow space between the beds.

“I’ll get out of your hair,” John said, maneuvering around the doctor.

“Fine, lad. But just to warn you, Rodney’s in a bit of a snit.”

“Yeah, I’ll track him down later,” John promised. Probably much, much later.

“See that you do,” Carson said with a nod, the went through the curtain to check on Dawn. John left the infirmary to the sound of Dawn complaining about another blood draw.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

John didn’t go down to Rodney’s lab. He wasn’t ready for that conversation yet and didn’t know if he ever would be. Instead he went to find Lorne, who was in the midst of processing the newest Atlanteans. John sat in Lorne’s office, laptop on his knees and a pile of papers on the floor, and together they went through the new assignments and duty rosters.

There was only one tense moment, when Lorne came across Dawn’s name in the database.

“Lt Dawn Sheppard,” Lorne said in surprise, looking at John over the top of his monitor.

“My younger sister,” John said. He left it at that.

“She has first contact and trade-relations experience,” Lorne said carefully.

“I believe SGA-9 has an opening,” John said, leaning down to shuffle through his papers. It wasn't quite an order, but John wasn’t about to let Dawn go on a first contact team.

“I’m sure SGA-9 will be happy to get an experienced lieutenant on their team,” Lorne said.

And that was it.

They worked late into the night, getting a passing marine to bring them dinner so they didn’t have to take a break. Even so it was nearly eleven when John called it quits. Lorne went off gratefully, rubbing his eyes and muttering about Tylenol.

John went to his quarters, grabbed a shower, mustered his courage, and went down to beard Rodney in his lab.