Life Altering Moments, Part II

What Makes A Family

Chapter 42: Life Altering Moments, Part III

Summary: It’s all about family - the family we’re born with and the family we create along the way.

Disclaimer: I definitely don’t own any of these characters.

Notes: Post S7 BTVS, S5 ATS & S2 SPN; Kindred: The Embraced/World of Darkness – it’s official, some characters from both the television series and the book series will come out to play. This chapter includes Darien Luna and Dr. Joe.

Note # 2: I know I haven’t been posting consistently since May, but I think that was because I was traumatized by the SPN season finale. Now that season four will be coming up in just a few weeks, I’m beginning to recover and hope to start posting more frequently again.

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John was still unconscious when Dean reappeared with the rest of the family in tow. Jess was surprised to see that Cash had allowed his Childre to leave his side so quickly, but then again, she knew that Dean could be an immovable force when he wanted to be. His family topped the list of reasons that he would not compromise.

It was only the look in his eye that kept her from snapping at him when he pulled the door open roughly and told her, “Go have a happy reunion with your husband. Take the girls with you.”

“What about…?” Jess glanced down at John, then back up at Dean, not liking the look on Dean’s face when he laid eyes on his father.

“Don’t you worry about old John here. He and I are going to have a nice little father and son chat,” Dean told her, moving aside so she could exit the Impala.

“How can I not worry? Father and son chats in the Winchester family often involve guns,” Jess noted as exited the car, but did not move so he could enter. She just raised an eyebrow at him when he tried to push past her and met his gaze until he finally caved.

Rolling his eyes, he told her, “I’ll disarm both of us and lock all of the weapons in the trunk before I wake him up, okay?”

Jess watched him for another moment, then nodded her acceptance. She knew they were both plenty deadly without weapons, but didn’t think either of them would actually kill the other with their bare hands…or teeth. Moving out of Dean’s way, she gently touched his cheek, “Okay. Don’t let him hurt you, Dean.”

Despite the pain and sadness she could read in his eyes, Dean offered her a sincere smile, “I don’t plan on letting him hurt any of us…including me.”

Satisfied with Dean’s response, she allowed him to leave with her father-in-law still unconscious in the back seat. She watched as the Impala pulled away and prayed that John could be reasoned with before he lost his entire family to his own prejudice.

She turned as she heard footsteps approaching and found the most wonderful sight in the world. Her beautiful – very much alive! – husband was coming toward her and she accepted his warm arms around her for the first time since her return to the family. With the disappearance of Dana and Vi, they had not been able to have a proper reunion and it was only now, safely ensconced in Sam’s arms, that she fully understood how her journey had led her to this very moment. The miniscule part of her that held a sliver of doubt that Sam would still accept her as his wife, as his mate, withered away and died as he captured her lips with his own. Months of separation melted away with a single touch. Their one perfect moment was tinged only by the realization that their time was short. She could feel it the moment he stepped close to her and, pulling back from the kiss, she opened her eyes to find the source of her misery. She traced Lasombra symbol fastened around his neck and looked up into her husband’s mournful gaze. She knew that he did not doubt his path in becoming Lasombra, but also knew him well enough that he regretted the timing.

“How long?” she asked him.

“Only a few more moments; not nearly long enough,” Sam told her, brushing her hair back behind her ear. He leaned down and kissed her again and whispered, “You are so beautiful and I think, once this is all done, you and I will have to redo our vows.”

“Death did us part already,” she finished for him with a smile, again wondering what their lives would have been like if he had been able to become the lawyer he had dreamed of being. Maybe they would have a house in a nice, safe neighborhood, with a dog and a child on the way, but in that moment, she knew that her blood would never call to his the way that it could now, a slow burn reaching deep within her and wrapping around him, seeking her perfect complement and being answered in kind. Jess breathed him in, memorizing his human scent for the last time and wiped away a blood tear as she spoke, “Come back to me quickly. I’ll be waiting for you.”

Their bodies and minds once again synchronized, exchanging ‘I love you’s’ seemed redundant. With one last kiss, Sam turned and walked off into a nearby shadow, leaving Jess to look after Dana and Vi until the rest of the Winchester men returned.

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As promised, as soon as he reached his destination, Dean disarmed both himself and John completely, even taking the weapons hidden in Impala’s front and back seats and placing them all in the trunk. They were just outside of the city, at a picnic area just off of the highway. The ‘Closed at Dusk’ sign did not deter him from pulling into a parking space just past where they would be visible from the street. No need to advertise that we’re here.

Dean figured that their location was remote enough that he and John could yell if they needed to and they wouldn’t have to worry about any nosy neighbors listening in or calling the police. Truthfully, after a couple of weeks away, he would prefer to be with his sisters to make sure that they were truly okay, but he knew that Jess would take good care of them. If the symbol on Sammy’s throat is any kind of a sign, he likely won’t be there when we return. This really needs to be hashed out before Sam’s got fangs, too, or their first fight will likely end in severe neck trauma.

It seemed strange to him that, for all of his father’s experience in the hunting world, he now had a wealth of knowledge that went well above John’s expertise. It was first-hand knowledge of what it was like to be a predator by nature and a person by choice. Dean wasn’t sure that his father would ever truly understand the strength that it took to be Kindred and not lose the fundamental part of him that was Dean Winchester. The only way would be for John to become Kindred himself and Dean didn’t think that would be happening anytime soon.

Dean sat on the trunk of the Impala until he heard the change in John’s breathing indicate that he was beginning to wake up. It reminded him of when Dr. Joe first came to their motel and the psychiatrist admitted his supernatural capabilities in disclosing that he could hear Dean’s heartbeat. If only I knew then what I know now…

Slowly, John made his way out to where Dean was, the doors of the Impala screeching loudly in protest as they opened and closed. When he finally was leaning against the Impala’s trunk as well, Dean reached behind him and pulled a second beer out of the cooler and handed it to his father.

“I’d give you something harder, but I need you lucid for this conversation,” Dean told him, his heart already heavy from the look of disappointment on John’s face. “Come on, let me have it.”

John stared at him for a long moment before opening the beer and taking a long gulp. Dean could feel the pierce of his glare as he spoke, “I can’t believe you actually went through with it.”

“We had this conversation, Dad. I told you that I was going to become Kindred, and yeah, you weren’t thrilled about it, but I thought you finally understood that it was my decision to make,” Dean argued, draining the last of the beer in his own hand and reaching for another. I think I need to be the one chemically altered for this conversation.

“Yeah, well…”

Dean realized what the issue really was and voiced it aloud, “But, you never thought that, when it came down to it, I would actually go through with it, did you?”

“No, Dean, I didn’t,” John admonished. “I thought I had raised you better than that. Jess didn’t really have a choice in what she became, so I can almost understand it. But, you and Vi, you both chose to become one of them. We hunt them. We don’t become them, Dean!”

“So, you’d rather that Vi and I were dead?” Dean asked, continuing without giving John a chance to speak, “Because that was the alternative. You wouldn’t have much of a family left at all if Kindred hadn’t become involved in our lives. First, Dana would never have gotten the therapy that she needed to become who she is today. Then, I would have died in that hospital after the car crash since there would have been no Sulumbri to save me. Again, Sam would have died in Cold Oak if Jess hadn’t saved him. And, Vi would have died just a few days ago, on a dirty warehouse floor, covered in demon guts, if Cash hadn’t Embraced her. Is that what you really want? To be the only Winchester left standing?”

“No, of course not!” John exclaimed, then threw his beer bottle at a nearby tree. The glass shattered the quiet of the night at a pitch that hurt Dean’s ears, but he waited for his father to work through his issues with every bit of patience he could muster for the older man. Finally, his father turned back to him, a look of defeat on his face, “Damn it, Dean. I didn’t want this life for you, or for Sam. I just wanted the demon that killed her to die. Your mother was my world, and now, you kids, you’re all that I have left of her and I see you becoming something unnatural.”

Dean took a deep breath and tried once again, “I already told you, Dad, it’s not unnatural. In fact, Sammy and I were born with it already in our blood. Azazeal has been going after children of Kindred descent. While I was at Joe’s, his wife looked into the family history, and more generations ago than I can even figure out, they found a Kindred ancestor. He was Lasombra before the Clan splintered to form a second Clan – Clan Giovanni. That’s why I inherited Giovanni traits, while Sam inherited Lasombra traits.”

John rubbed a hand over his bearded face and Dean could see that he was clearly exhausted. The past few days, not knowing where the girls were, had taken its toll on him both physically and emotionally. Dean could empathize; the forty minutes it took him to track them from the warehouse to the Gangrel stronghold were the longest forty minutes of his life. But, he had to have this conversation now, before John saw Vi again, and said something that he couldn’t take back.

Finally, after several long minutes of silent contemplation, John asked, “You’re telling me that, somewhere back in my bloodline, is a monster? That my blood is the reason that you mother was killed?”

“Not your bloodline, Dad,” Dean told him softly. “The Kindred blood came from Mom’s side of the family. I don’t know for sure, but I think Mom knew somehow. I think she may have even known Azazeal.”

“What do you mean? How could she have known him?” John demanded and Dean could almost visibly see John’s defenses going back up.

“Stop treating me like I am working against you and all of humanity. I’m not,” Dean defended himself, “I am trying to tell you everything. You don’t need to interrogate me for the information. I need you to help me to reconcile what I know with what is coming and help me to create a plan of action. Can you do that? Can you remember that I’m your son, not the creature feature of the week?”

“I’ll try to remember, son,” John retorted, “Now, please. Continue.”

Well, barely leashed sarcasm is at least normal for him, Dean realized with a roll of his eyes. He sighed and explained, “All of this is theory right now, and when they started talking about planet alignments and the effects of advanced physics on demonic activities, they lost me, but the general consensus among Joe and his colleagues is that this isn’t the first time Azazeal has tried to put down Lillith. They don’t know what, but they think something stopped Azazeal the last time. Whatever it was took him down, but not out, and now he’s back for another attempt.”

It seemed as though John was actually listening to him, and for that, Dean was grateful. They weren’t out of the woods yet, but at the very least, John still seemed willing to hunt down this demon together.

“What does this have to do with your mother?” he asked.

“Hell if I know. I’ve only talked to her – really talked to her, Dad, like she was really there and touching me – once, and I was a little busy dying at the time. I can summon her back, but only for a short time, and it will drain a lot of energy out of me because I’m too new to really be trying this solo yet,” Dean replied honestly.

His enhanced Kindred eyesight allowed him to see John attempting to study him in the darkness. He relaxed as the older man questioned, “So, what? Afterward, you’d need to sleep for a while?”

“Well, yes, but I’ll also need to replenish myself. I fed Vi earlier and haven’t gone to feed since then. If I do this, I’ll need to…” Dean trailed off, knowing that this was the real test to see if John would ultimately accept them.

“Feed,” John finished for him. When Dean didn’t speak again, John filled the silence himself, “Fair enough, I suppose, but don’t think I’ll be making a habit of it.”

That’s as good as I’m going to get, Dean smiled into the night.

“Wouldn’t actually want you to make a habit of it,” Dean told him as he began to prepare to call his mother forth from the afterlife.

Only a moment or two into his concentration, John began to fidget next to him, “Nothing is happening.”

“Dad, I’m trying to concentrate. It’s not like I’m an expert at this yet or anything. Give me a minute,” Dean rolled his eyes, exasperated. After John seemed to settle down again, he reached again for that place inside of him that could call his mother forth. Beads of sweat formed on his brow as he exerted himself beyond his limits. He watched, amazed, as the streetlight that would have illuminated that portion of the parking lot if it hadn’t been broken, came to life before his eyes, and a form took shape in the middle of it. The effect of the streetlight made his mother seem more angelic than he remembered her to be, but nonetheless, enhanced his vision of her as the most beautiful woman in the world.

He heard a gasp beside him and knew that his father was seeing her as well. Dean watched as his father started to reach a hand out to her before pulling it back as though he couldn’t quite believe she was standing in front of him.

“It’s okay, Dad,” he ground out, strain finally easing, but still evident in his voice. “She’s really here. You can touch her.”

“John,” Mary called, “Please. There isn’t much time.”

Mary’s plea spurred John into action and he pressed forward, sweeping Mary up into a tight embrace. Part of Dean felt as though he was intruding, but since he was the one keeping his mother corporeal, there wasn’t much that he could really do about it, other than avert his eyes for a few moments, despite the desire to have a fresh memory of his parents together to mingle with the fading memories of his early childhood.

All too soon, his mother had to pull herself away from his father to get down to the business at hand. She called Dean to get his attention and smiled at him before pulling him into a hug as well. If one blood tear made its way down his face at her comforting embrace, he was glad that John kept quiet about it.

Taking half a step out of Dean’s arms, Mary looked up at him in concern, “Dean, you know you aren’t strong enough for this yet. What do you think you are doing?”

“Not much choice, Mom,” Dean shrugged, leaning into the hand she placed on his cheek. “War’s coming. Have to get strong.”

Mary looked back and forth between the two men and raised an eyebrow as if she could see right through them, “You mean, summoning me here way too early in your Kindred life isn’t your way of helping your father to get that stick out of his ass and be a father to you kids?”

When they didn’t answer her, she nodded with finality, “Uh, huh.”

His father looked like he was about to speak, but Mary cut him off with a finger poking him in the chest, “You see here, John Winchester. If you ever – ever! – do anything to hurt any of these children, I swear on my own grave that you will not live to regret it. Do you understand me, John Winchester?”

“Mary…” John began, but this only seemed to ignite Mary’s fire more.

“It’s a yes or no question, John. And, if the answer is no, you must have had some brain cells sucked out by some demon since I died, because I know I didn’t marry an idiot,” Mary told him.

The last thing that Dean expected was for his father to laugh, long and loud, before pulling Mary into his arms again and breathing in her scent. “If I had any doubts before, I know now. You are definitely my Mary.”

Mary gave him a patient smile, “Of course, I’m your Mary. But, John, I’m also their Mother and whether I am alive and with them or dead and watching over them, seeing them hurting is horrible. Seeing them hurting because of you is unbearable, so you just need to figure out how to live with their choices. They’re good kids and if I can’t be with them, at least I know that you are. They still need you, John.”

“I need you, Mary. I’m not the same man that I was when I had you,” John admitted.

It cut Dean to hear his father so openly admit that he had been broken by his mother’s death. While it was something Dean had always known, to hear it spoken aloud was more painful than he thought possible. But, maybe it’s like lancing a wound. Maybe now he’ll be able to heal.

Dean started to feel weak and knew that their time was short. We never even got a chance to ask Mom about Azazeal, he lamented as he leaned against the hood of the Impala once again. There wasn’t really much that he could do about it. Every ounce of strength that he had was currently going toward holding Mary here with them; he didn’t have any to spare to speak as well.

His mother seemed to sense that their time was up for right now. She turned a peaceful smile on him and blew him a kiss that he swore he could actually feel land on his cheek before turning back to John.

“Listen to me, John. You’ll see me again. I promise. The kids need you now, but one day, they won’t and I’ll come to you then and we’ll never be apart ever again,” she told him. She placed a last kiss on his lips, “I love you, John. Give my love to the kids, not just by passing my words along, but in everything that you do for them. Then, it will be like I am there with them, too.”

Though Dean could see that John tried to hold her in place, she slipped from his fingers and moved backward until she was under the streetlight again before she faded into the light once more.

Exhaustion weighing down upon him, Dean slumped over on the trunk of the Impala, feeling the smallest surge of hope when John’s arms came around him in support. He wasn’t strong enough to even push away and maintain any dignity when his head fell against his father’s shoulder. He could feel the blood pumping steadily under his temple and felt his fangs extend in hunger, but he determined to wait to see if his father remembered that he would need to feed and offered the needed sustenance on his own.

John, for his part, had panicked when Dean slumped over. Dean could feel a hand lightly tapping on his face, trying to keep him conscious, and risked glancing up at the older man, knowing that there was still a potential for rejection when his father saw his golden eyes and extended fangs. John looked down at him for a long moment before huffing out, “Well, if you are waiting for an engraved invitation, my arms are a little full at the moment.”

John’s words were all the permission Dean needed as he reached up and took hold of one of his father’s arms. Though he had his fangs sunk into the flesh within seconds, drawing the needed blood with certainty, he had been careful to cause no real pain. He tasted his father’s unease about his family becoming Kindred and his overwhelming sorrow that still burned fresh every time he thought of losing Mary. And for one moment, as John’s other arm came up to run through his spiky hair, he felt the warmth in his father’s touch, which had been missing for over twenty-five years, despite countless times that he has been injured and John had patched him up. It felt like something had clicked into place inside of John and Dean had to be careful to savor the feeling without trying to hold onto it or he could risk losing control and killing his own father. After just two heartbeats more, reluctantly, Dean withdrew his fangs and licked the wound shut.

Although he didn’t want to ruin what had turned out to be the nicest father/son moment he had experienced since his mother’s death, before he allowed himself to rest, he felt it necessary to make something clear to John and leave him with something to think about while he slept. Pushing himself up and away from John, it took some effort to manage to stand on his own, but he did so and met John’s eyes in the little bit of light the moon provided.

“Dad, we are a family of hunters, and we will continue to be, but we also choose to protect ourselves a little bit better than we could as humans. We made our choices. It’s your turn to make your choice. We don’t need you to jump for joy that we’re Kindred. You don’t even have to like what we are, but if you want to be a part of this family, you have to accept it.”

Dean’s words did not quite have the desired effect as John again attempted to go on the defensive, “You’re kicking me out of my own family?”

Even in his exhaustion, Dean rushed to reassure him, waving away his accusation, “No, of course not. I’m protecting our family from any threats, just like you taught me. Like it or not, you really aren’t the head of this household any longer. You left and I understand that you did what you had to do, but so did we. We got on with the business of living as Winchesters.”

Dean waited for John to explode again, but instead, the older man issued what Dean knew to be a challenge for dominance. Next time I should take another half-pint. Then, maybe he will be the one that is too tired to argue, Dean thought as he made his way to the Impala’s back door, pushing the keys into John’s hand as he passed him.

“And, just who is it that is taking my place as head of the family, then?”

Dean snorted at his father’s reaction, knowing that it was obvious who now headed up The Winchester Family.

“Is it Jess out here trying to reason with you? Dana? No? Well, then I think you have your answer, and don’t you dare say that I’m not qualified,” Dean told him. “Not only have I absorbed every bit of the hunting lessons you drilled in to me, but I’ve also made contacts of my own that will help us to hunt better. And, I managed to figure out a way to get the law off our backs for the most part because I’m earning a legitimate income to support the family.”

Dean ducked into the backseat of his beloved car and sighed at the familiar scents embedded in the leather seats. Everyone I’ve ever loved has been in this car at one time or another, he smiled to himself.

“What are you talking about? What legitimate income?”

“Guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out,” Dean smiled at him, nestling into the worn leather of the backseat as his eyes closed in slumber.

TBC

Up Next: Life Altering Moments, Part IV (otherwise known as Sam finally gets fangs!)

End Note: Thank you so much for the new REC! Very much appreciated, as are all reviews!