Chapter One

Xander, the Were...FISH?!




Disclaimers: I own nothing. The characters belong to their original owners, the plot is just from my twisted imagination. Don't sue, I have no money.

This was an evil, evil plot bunnie, please don't shoot it!







Reports had been filtering through town about a strange creature in the river, during the full moon. Several people had spotted it, and though most were winos and drunks, one was a sober elderly lady on her way home from a late-night prayer meeting. The creature was said to be huge and vaguely fish-like, and its appearance during the full moon suggested to some the possibility of some kind of strange were-mer-creature. Tabloids were calling it the Saint Louis Nessie, even though it was far smaller than Nessie had been.



Anita was annoyed. A monster meant the possibility of idiots poaching, trying to get a new trophy. Even if they didn't find the creature, they might end up killing some innocent by accident. And if it was a were, then it would be up to her to track it down and find out if it was going to cause any problems in her town. Personally, she couldn't see how it was a were. She had never heard of anything like it in her preternatural biology classes. Selkies, yes, but those were saltwater only, and tended towards colder waters. Besides, the description didn't sound remotely like a selkie. According to the reports, this thing had more in common with a fish than a mammal. Whatever it was, Richard was bothering her about adding it to the were-coalition, and Jean-Claude wanted it for a special attraction at the Circus. With her luck, she would be more likely to shoot it than bring it home with her. She never cared much for fishing, and this thing would need a BIG net.




. . .




“I feel silly. How does he think we're going to find this thing, let alone catch it?” whined Anita. “It's not like wolves can track scent in water, and my fish tank isn't anywhere near big enough.”

Richard looked at her, an annoyed look crossing his face. “There aren't too many places for him to climb in and out of the water, and he's limited to the river. Our best bet is to try and catch him at moon rise, going in, or spot him in the river and follow him 'till morning. Wolf eyes are far better in the dark than a humans. Something that big, once we see it, we won't lose track of it.”

“I just don't think we should bother it if it's not hurting anything. How would you feel if someone put you in a cage and put you in a show? There are better things I could be doing with my time.”

Privately, Richard agreed with her. However, the creature was drawing a lot of negative attention and he couldn't allow it to cause a panic. Even if it were harmless, it would be better to find out what kind of were it was and get it to relocate to a less public location. If it was a monster, which he doubted, he'd just let Anita deal with it. Then maybe she'd stop griping.




Meanwhile, in the river, Xander was pissed. The universe really had it in for the Zeppo, it was obvious. It was all Toth's fault. Stupid demon, can't even zap the right person. When he'd been put back together, he KNEW something was different. Splitting him in two had brought back a whole lot of shit he thought he'd put behind him, most especially, the swim team incident. He'd thought it was nothing at first- just dreams of water. Then, a greater desire to visit the pool at the Y. The final nail in his coffin was waking up naked on the beach three times in a row- the nights of the full moon. That was when he'd had to face facts: he was turning into some kind of were-seabeast. Stupid swim coach. At least he hadn't had the full treatment, that kept him human most of the time. His problem was, he couldn't afford a large enough fish tank at home, and he was worried about what would happen if he went into the ocean. What if he swam out too far? He could transform back miles out to sea and drown. Or he could be eaten. Or find himself married to a dolphin. With his luck, he'd end up with a dolphin girlfriend who'd want to eat him.



With that in mind, he'd made his big mistake: he went to Willow for help. He'd figured she might be able to help with a spell, since the doctors had been able to cure him before. So, he'd sat in her pentagram, wearing very little and smeared with chicken blood while Will had chanted in some old language. There was a flash of light, and then he'd found himself in a strange city, just days before the full moon. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that he was in some alternate version of Saint Louis, with legal vampires, and all kinds of were-creatures. He'd figured that he might be able to fit in here a bit easier. He was more in control of himself during the full moon, and didn't seem to be dangerous, except to the fish population. Now if only the water tasted better...















Reviews and suggestions are always welcome