snake (gets a) break

Disclaimer in first chapter.

Crossing: BtVS/HP

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"You... glow?"

Dawn blinked. "Ok, that's a new one." She shot a quizzical look at Xander, who shrugged. "Usually Buffy's new boyfriends are all with the sucking up, or in some cases, literally trying to suck the blood from our bodies." The mystical teen smiled, "My sister has a... colorful dating history. You sure you can handle her?"

Harry glanced to the side, where Buffy Summers was standing and laughing with one of her sister Slayers. "Handle her? She doesn't need 'handling'." And she certainly didn't need one Harry James Potter, killer of Dark Lords and auror extraordinaire. Every day she woke up still wanting to be with him was a day he thanked the gods for their favor.

Xander stepped forward, an intent look on his face. "What do you think she needs? You?"

"Merlin, no!" Harry was startled, then thoughtful. "I don't know what she needs," he answered as his eyes were drawn back to the blonde slayer like metal filings to a magnet, "But I hope..." He swallowed, "I hope I can help her figure it out."

He almost fell over with the force of the clap to the back Xander gave him. "Good answer," the one-eyed carpenter grinned. "Now of course, you know that if you hurt her I will hunt you down with a shovel."

"Why a shovel?"

"Makes burying your body afterwards a lot easier."

"Ah, quite."

Dawn drew herself up officiously and stepped forward, Xander flanking her: "Now, we have just a few questions before you go enjoy yourself." She pulled out a pad of paper and a pen, "Are you now or have you ever been evil?"

"Erm, I once had a mystical connection to an undead wizard. He possessed me with it once." Seeing the two Scoobies start to frown, he hastened to reassure them: "But I killed him, for real this time, he's not coming back."

"Alright, next question: are you a werewolf?"

"No, but I have a godson who is." He frowned, "Is that going to be a problem?"

"Oh, no - no, we have a strict drug 'em and chain 'em policy regarding werewolves." Dawn frowned and Xander followed suit, "Do you have any aura-reading capabilities? The ability to see through magic? Any sort of magical sight?"

"No. That is, I don't think so."

"Well phooey, that blows that theory." Dawn scowled, "This doesn't make any sense! Unless you're a dog or a snake in disguise - " She shot him a suspicious look, "You're not, are you?"

"No - "

"Then how can you see the glow?"

"I can talk to snakes," Harry responded slowly. "It's a very rare magical talent called parseltongue."

"That explains it," Xander smiled, relieved. "Well, the preliminary evil-boyfriend check is complete. Congratulations, now why don't you go and enjoy the party?"

Harry nodded and started to head for Buffy, he was barely three steps away before he paused and turned back. "Out of curiosity, what would have happened if I had failed?" Identical evil grins had the wizard swallowing nervously as the two Scoobies exchanged looks fraught with meaning.

Dawn's grin widened, "Trust us, Harry - "

" - you don't want to know," Xander finished.

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A/N: Like, love, loathe with the fiery intensity of a thousand hot suns? Lemme know!