Xander

Disclaimer: I own nothing herein. This of ficlets contains characters that belong to several other people. I'm just borrowing them.


Xander

It became tradition. The Slayers that lived at the Cleveland compound had no other home. They were, except for their odd assortment of Watchers, parentless. So the sum total of twelve men that ran around the place became their fathers, their brothers, their uncles.

Dawn submitted to it the easiest, probably because she’d learned long ago that there were just some battles you couldn’t win. And bringing home dates to meet men that regularly ate their crazy flakes for breakfast was one of them. The Slayers were learning and coming to accept that part of being a Scooby’s responsibility was letting them threaten someone in their stead.

Xander, the Slayers were all sure, would be the best about it. There wasn’t a drop of magic to him, he wasn’t supernaturally enhanced in any way, and he couldn’t pull off distinguished for anything. He was a goof, a loveable, huggable teddy bear. He surely couldn’t be that scary.

Dawn knew better. Sure, he was a nice guy. But when it came to his girls, no one was good enough. And any person that thought to date one of them, well, they’d better be careful. Xander with his 6’2”, muscley build and his eyepatch and glare of doom was a frightening sight.

That was why she was so nervous. This was the first time Bobby was picking her up at the compound and she knew Xander’d won the right to give him the shovel speech. She’d warned him. She’d told him that she had to leave him alone with somebody for a little while and that they’d threaten him and they’d mean it, too. That if she didn’t, they’d wait until he was complacent, not prepared, and they’d scare him away. He’d taken that to mean she thought he was a coward and they’d argued until Dawn assured him that it had happened before. Several times. Not just to guys she was dating, either. Now she was pacing her room because he was down there with Xander and goddess only knew what was going on.

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Xander opened the door after the second knock. The tool belt around his hips scraped the door as he shifted to motion the kid in. The hammer in his hand was a comfortable weight and achieved his goal of unsettling his…guest. Especially when he pointed to the living room with it saying with a wry smile, “Dawn’ll be down in a few minutes. Why don’t you get comfortable.”

“I’m Bobby Drake,” the kid said nervously, holding out his hand.

Xander suppressed a grin. “Xander,” he said as he shook it, grip tight. “Have a seat. Let’s talk.”

Bobby gulped as he sat. “About what, sir?”

Xander grinned a little maliciously. “About the girl you’re here to pick up? Dawn? My baby sister?”

“Of c-course, sir,” Bobby said, nodding.

Xander kept grinning. “I wanna make sure you understand me.” Xander lightly tapped his hammer against the side of the chair, delighting in each little jump that accompanied each rap. “Dawn can take care of herself. I know this. And if you don’t, you’ll learn. But it is my privilege to be allowed to defend her honor. So if you think you’re gonna get away with hurting her because you’re a hero, an X-Man or a mutant, I’m here to disillusion you of that notion. I’ve heard you turn to ice?”

At the abrupt change of topic, Bobby coughed. “Er, yes sir?”

“You ever seen what a few swings of a hammer can do to a block of ice?” When the boy paled, Xander continued blithely, “Of course, we’ve got a troll hammer around here somewhere. Now, I can’t lift the thing. It weighs a couple thousand pounds. But I happen to know a few superheroes myself and if I ask real nice, they’ll take a swing at a living ice sculpture. ” Bobby choked and Xander grinned. “I’ll admit. Normally I’d just threaten to beat you to death with a shovel. But you’re special so you get a new, improved warning. Treat my little Dawnie right or be turned into ice cubes. Am I clear?”

“Yes sir?” Bobby said faintly.

Xander bounced from his chair, startling the boy. “Good! I’ll just go get Dawn for you. Glad we could come to an understanding.”

As Xander walked away, he heard the kid mumble, “She told me they were insane. Next time, I’ll believe her.”


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