Realizations, Batman, And Harley

AN: And here we...GO!



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Robin sat at his desk staring at his computer blankly. It just didn't make sense. There was no one ever born with DNA that matched this clown. No one. No names, no dental, not even a parking ticket. Who ever this was he either was never born, never was recorded, files were so Top Secret that they effectively did not exist, or was VERY good at hiding his tracks. Robin was leaning toward the last one. But, this guy didn't look stable enough to operate a microwave oven, let alone a computer. Which meant someone else had erased his files, some one he either paid or who was very close to him.

Maybe the little girl from his story? He had not showed any signs of deception, but there was no way to track down that particular arson, especially if she had never been caught. To erase files like that and so thoroughly then she would have to be a hacker on par with Barbara...with the Bat-Computer!

"There has to be something. Something I'm missing." Robin muttered, frustrated at the uselessness of his search. "Think, think, think, think."

Seriously, who was this clown? Clown! That's it! Why clowns? What's the connection? The Chelsea Grin? Maybe. But why the paint? An admirer
of the Joker? No, this guy wasn't a copy cat. There was something more, a personal reason. The make up was sloppy. Maybe he was mocking the Joker? Maybe the Joker hurt him, gave him those scars. But why would the Joker let him live, why was he so important.

Robin sighed, frustrated once more. This was going to drive him as crazy as Dr. Light. He had all these questions and they were testing his patience.

'Okay, calm down. Focus.' Robin thought to himself. 'What was it Bruce taught me about tracing people? If you can't trace them, then trace those close to them? Worth a shot.'

Robin searched for any DNA similar to the clown's. It would be a few seconds before it popped up with results.

Robin paled as he realized something. The Joker was a narcissist, he craved the attention his unique appearance gave him. What would he do when he found out that some kid was stealing his trademark clownish appearance? He would come here to kill him. And wherever the Joker went, Batman was sure to follow.

Shaking himself from his musings Robin looked at the results. What? Robin read it again, his mind had to of misread it. But there it was. The only match. Robin redid the search five more times, but the result was the same every time.

Their mysterious clown was the son of the Joker.


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"Puddin'! Dinner's ready!" Came Harleen Quinzel's screechy voice from the kitchen along with something that sounded suspiciously like cat screaming in pain.

"Not now Harley!" The Clown Prince of Crime snapped at his former psychiatrist and now lover. He was watching the news and had an angry look on his face. He turned up the volume as Harlequin came in to see what had her love so worked up.

"The unidentified teenager, known only by his clownish make up and the scars on his face, had held two of Jump City's ferries hostage and played a cruel mind game with their occupants. He informed the boats that they each held the detonator to the other one's bombs and if they did not destroy the other ship within the time limit then he would destroy both. The hostages refused and the Teen Titans were able to stop the insane delinquent from detonating both ships, unfortunately, the unnamed criminal escaped and is still at large. He is armed and extremely dangerous. If you see his face then notify the Police immediately."

The news station showed a grainy picture of the teenager. He had unkempt, stringy, greenish brown hair that resembled seaweed, his face had a Glasgow Smile carved into the mouth, and red, white, and black make up painted sloppily on his face. The over all effect was terrifying and demonic. His brown eyes appeared black and glowed with a sadistic glee.

"And I thought we were messed up." Harley said as she took in the teenager's disturbing appearance. She was impressed, it wasn't bad for the kid's first crime.

"How dare this brat copy MY style and steal MY PRESS!" The Joker shouted, spittle flying from his mouth. Harlequin panicked, trying to figure out some way to get her love to calm down.

"Maybe we should give him a chance? He did do a crime that had your name written all over it?" She offered, cowering a bit as the Joker turned his enraged eyes on her. He glared and back handed her hard.

"No! There is only one kid out there who deserves-" The Joker paused in his rant, a look of realization crossing his chemically bleached face, followed by a pleased smile. "Of course, Junior! It has to be Junior!"

"Who?" Harlequin asked clueless. Who the hell was Junior?

"My son! My baby boy Joey!" The Joker crowed, laughing wildly. "It's obvious! Only my son could come up with a game that has that much finesse."

The Joker basked in parental pride for a long moment, soaking up the moment, then he turned to Harley. "Pooh, pack our things, we're going to Jump City to see my boy! Oh! And leave a note for batsy will you? This is gonna be great! My boy versus bird boy. HAHAHAHAHA!"



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Xander found himself in a quandary. What to do now? As much as he hated to be predictable, he did say he would help protect the city and he was a man of his word. The problem was: how do you incite chaos and anarchy while protecting the city? By upsetting the order, which was already happening do to his presence. It wasn't enough for him. He wanted panic, disorder, cats and dogs living together. What was the order of the situation?

The bad guys fighting the good guys. Hero versus Villain. He had to upset that particular balance, that order. The Superman and Lex Luthor thing. The whole 'one cannot exist without the other' thing. But, how to upset the balance in the White Hat's favor. Xander stopped pacing.

'Destroy the baddies! Thats how!' Xander thought excitedly.

But not by killing. He got the feeling the heroes wouldn't like that. Humiliation? Confuse them? Play pranks on them? Interrupting their plans? Use their MO's against them?

'All the above!' Xander giggled as he felt the delicious tingle he got when he was screwing up people's plans. 'Who's to be my first victim? Brother Blood? Nah, too stuffy. The HIVE? Jinx is hot, but no. Maybe later. Control Freak? Too..something. Dr. Light? Perfect!'

Xander cackled to himself as ideas flew into his head.


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Dr. Light looked around in a paranoid manner as he snuck into the Jump City power plant. He could feel something bad was going to happen, but as per usual he ignored the feeling. Nothing could stand up to the power of light!

Suddenly the lights went out. Startled, Dr. Light looked around and around fearfully, trying to find some light. He was almost at the point of a mental breakdown when he heard a laugh come from the darkness. It wasn't like any laugh he'd ever heard. It was a dark and menacing chuckle that seemed to lack any sanity or mercy.

"Mommy, I'm going see the doctor, the doctor, the doctor. Mommy, I'm going see the doctor because I'm feeling bored!" The psychotic voice sang as Light tried to pin point where it was coming from, but it was no use. The pitch changing voice came from everywhere, like an echo. The Doctor was starting to get nervous, the Titans didn't do stuff like this, not even that demon witch from Hell, which meant that this guy was an unknown. Doctor Light hated the unknown, it was part of the reason he hated darkness.

"What's wrong?" The voice asked in an innocent voice. "Don't you like the dark? After all the light can't exist without the dark. Then again, that's what I'm trying to destroy, the balance."

Doctor Light was sweating badly. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to triumph over the dark or the Teen Titans were supposed to stop him. Not this....whatever this guy was.

"I try to be light." The voice said earnestly, now sounding like a lost little boy. "But the dark just fits me better. I tried to live a normal life, go to school, go on dates with people who aren't trying to kill me, but it just didn't work out. I used to joke all the time about all sorts of stuff and people would get on to me, I would just smile at 'em. Now people call me crazy, they say I'm in-sane. I'm *not* crazy, I just deal with it the only way I know how....by smiling and laughing. They call you crazy to don't they? Well, do you know what you do when they say your insane? You laugh."

Doctor Light was now officially panicking, this guy needed professional help. Then the sound of footsteps reached his ears forebodingly. "So tell me.." The voice had dropped the mock innocent act, now sounding like the voice of a dead man. The lights turned on, showing a teenage boy with a smile carved on his face and sloppily applied grease paint in a sickening parody of a clown. The boy was suddenly in front of Doctor Light and grabbing his throat.

"...won't you laugh with me?" The clown pulled out a knife from the pocket of his dark blue almost purple coat. He smiled maliciously, the scars on his face stretching the smile into grotesque grin that promised nothing good.

If anyone was around then they would of heard the screams of pain from Dr. Light and maniacal laughter from Xander.


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"We heard Dr. Light had been apprehended again." Robin said to the police chief as the other Titans stood behind him.

"Yeah, we found him, but well..." The Chief rubbed face tiredly, "You better take a look."

Robin frowned. What was the point of having them take a look at Light, they knew what he looked like already. He looked at the other Titans and saw they looked as curious he felt. "Sure."

They followed the Chief through the crowd of reporters and curious bystanders to the ambulance. "We think that Light was attacked by your new clown friend."

Robin looked into the ambulance to see Dr. Light and gasped. Light looked like had beat half to death and judging by the machines he was hooked up to that probably wasn't far from the truth. But it was the wounds on Doctor Light's face that caught Robin's attention. Light's mouth had been sliced by some sort of blade and now sported a Chelsea Smile, not unlike the clown that they had encountered.

Dr. Light looked terrified, a look which was only amplified by the Glasgow Grin and the blood that covered him. He kept muttering "ha ha ha" over and over again. It was a gruesome sight and Robin knew that he couldn't show the others what had happened. They were still innocent to many of the darker parts of the world. Raven might be able to take it, but the rest, even Cyborg, couldn't. They had some innocence left, innocence that Robin had lost many years ago, and he wasn't willing to take theirs yet.

Robin went back to the others and told them that it was the insane clown that had done this. The others were surprised and Starfire was, as usual, optimistic.

"Maybe he wishes to help us?" Starfire asked, hope could heard in her voice. "Perhaps he wishes to our friend?"

"Are you nuts? Have you seen this guy?" Cyborg asked his voice incredulous. "I don't think whatever he did to Doc Light was him asking if he could join our crew Star."

"Maybe he is." Raven said. Seeing the confusion on the other's faces led her to continue. "He said that he didn't believe that the people in Jump were worthy of us, right?"

"Yeah." Cyborg said, his confusion obvious. "What are you getting at Rae?"

"Well his use of the word 'worthy' means he sees us higher than everyone else. So he tests the city to see if they were worthy of us, but he was also trying to show us how quickly people will turn on us if it meant they could save themselves." Raven explained. "He admires us. He told us that he would protect the city if they passed, and they did. What he's doing right now is for us, he is, in his own way, protecting us and the city. He's trying to help, but he doesn't understand that he isn't helping us, he's hurting us."

The other's faces changed from confusion to a disturbed realization. He was trying to help. Which meant that he wasn't evil, at least not totally. That he was trying to help showed that he had been a good person once and was trying to help. He is, in a way, innocent. He just doesn't know any better. He doesn't understand why what he was doing was wrong.

"We have another problem." Robin spoke up, shaking the Titans out of their musings. "I did a DNA check on him. There was nothing, no name, no birth certificate, nothing to prove that he was ever normal, that he was ever human. I did get a hit on his closest family member, though. His father is the Joker."

"Dude, no wonder he's whacked in the head." Beast Boy said, with pity for the mystery clown on his face. "I doubt anyone could have that maniac for a dad and turn out sane."

"It gets worse." Robin stated grimly. "He's coming here. Batman called to let me know that the Joker is heading straight for Jump. He must have seen his son on the news."

"We can't let let the Joker get him." Raven said with determination. "If he gets his claws into our boy, then whatever sanity and goodness he has left will be stomped out of him."

"Yes! If our clown doesn't know that which he does hurts people then we must help him." Starfire said fiercely.

"Nobody deserves that guy for a dad and if we can get this guy help then we'll do it." Cyborg agreed.

"Dude, this guy needs help bad. Isn't that what we do? Help people?" Beast Boy asked rhetorically.

"We're all in agreement here?" Robin asked, they all nodded. "Okay, let's head home. I've got to give you guys a rundown on the Joker."


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Xander knew that his dear old was coming for him. It was one of the reasons that he made sure to make a big splash on the news. God bless those nosy bastards, if it wasn't for reporters he would've had to find Gotham on his own. This way daddy would come to him. This was going to be a great game.

His dad would be the first disruption of the balance. If he took him out then not only would that upset the balance between Light and Dark, but it also would free up the title of The Joker. Something which Xander wanted bad. After all, he had to have a name. And he couldn't figure a name on his own.

Xander twitched happily as he danced over to the machine gun, his almost shapeless coat twirling behind him. He had to get ready for his dad's surprise party. Preparations had to be made, after all. This was going to be one party that he would ensure that no one would ever forget.


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"Twenty-two armed robberies in less than three days. All from local drug dealers and arms dealers. What is he up to?" Cyborg asked, scratching his head.

"He is preparing." Raven said as she put down her book. "He knows the Joker is coming for him and he wants to be ready. Something tells me that he has daddy issues."

Raven didn't say anything to anyone about it, but she felt fascinated by the clown. She couldn't remember his face, she had been too overwhelmed by the force of his emotions to notice. But there was something about him. Maybe it was the make up, maybe it was the boundless energy he seemed to possess, perhaps the fact that he was, in a *very* twisted way, trying to help.

Either way, she was fascinated by him. She knew that she had to take care so it wouldn't turn into an obsession. The last thing she needed was that guy floating around in her head. She had enough people in her head thank you very much. She didn't need another one, let alone a psychotic clown.

She wondered if he had always been crazy or if something had pushed him into it. If he was driven insane then who or what did it? Was it the Joker or someone else. Was it just circumstances? Was he born insane?

"We have trouble!" Robin declared as he busted into the living room, he looked stressed, and Raven saw a dark shadow with distinctive horns behind him. The Batman. "There is a fire fight at the old carnival grounds!"

"You sure it's him?" Cyborg asked, standing up straight and his tone all business. He had undoubtedly seen the shadowy figure of Batman behind Robin the same as Raven.

"It's him." Said a dark growling voice. Batman stepped into the light of the room. Raven didn't see what was so creepy about him, but Cyborg apparently did. "The carnival is the type of base the Joker or his son would be unable to resist. Get the others. I'll handle the Joker, you handle the boy."

With that said, Batman swept out of the room. As Cyborg left to get Beast Boy and Starfire, Raven couldn't help but wonder if they were ready for this.


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"YOU LITTLE BRAT! THAT HURT!" The Joker screamed as he took cover behind the Twister. Harlequin was hiding out behind the the Scrambler.

"It was supposed to hurt old man!" Xander screamed from behind a bumper car. He quickly checked his ammunition, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. "Next time I'll pull out the rock salt!"

Xander could hear his dad cursing him under his breath and grinned maniacally to himself, a giggle slipping out. A few a bullets whizzed by his head.

"All I wanted was to see my son in peace. But noooooo, you had to start shooting at me!" The Joker yelled back.

"You tell him Puddin'!" Harlequin yelled righteously as she tried to find her bazooka.

"SHUT UP HARLEY!" Xander and Joker screamed as they fired in her direction. Harley dodged the bullets as she leaped back behind her cover.

"Sheesh! You try to show a little loyalty and you get shot at." Harley grumbled to herself, before grinning happily as she saw her bazooka right in front of her. 'How could I have missed that?' She wondered. She shrugged it wasn't important.

"I have a right to see my own son without being shot at!" Joker screamed at Xander as shot at the bumper car the teenager was hiding behind.

"Says who?!" Xander yelled in question, looking and sounding bewildered.

"Says me!" Joker shouted back as he ducked back behind his cover, just barely missing the bullets that hit where he had been a second before.

"Teenagers NEVER listen to their parents!" Xander screamed at Joker, as he reloaded. "Hey Harley! How would you like to trade in the old and busted model for the newer and better model?"

"She's your mother ya sick fuck!" Joker yelled, as he tried to figure out why he was so pissed.

"I got a Oedipus Complex? Damn!" Xander shouted. He did feel a little ill at the whole 'Harlequin was his mom' thingy.

"Actually, I'm technically your stepmother!" Harley shouted. "No blood relation!"

All was quiet for a moment, then.

"Hell yeah!" Xander shouted in glee. "Now, I know you feel loyal to pop here, but does he ever return that loyalty?"

"Stop trying to steal my minion, Joey!" Joker shouted in anger, then frowned as he realized his mistake. "Oh poop."

"Minion? MINION!" Harley screeched in such anger that even Xander winced in sympathy for Joker. "After everything I've done for you, you still consider me a minion! I QUIT!"

"I'm looking for a lovely assistant who has a fetish for clowns, latex, acrobatic ability and experience is a must, and moral flexibility is preferable." Xander said helpfully.

"How's the pay?" Harley asked, curiously. Hey it was better than the deal she had right now.

"Whatever you want from the criminals we attack." Xander offered and Harley had a thoughtful look on her pretty face.

"Wait! Criminals? You a goody goody?" Harley asked, disgust lining her voice. She did not want to be a white hat.

"Kinda. More of a 'loot the bad guys thing and cause chaos' thing than an 'evil is a foot' thing. Get it?" Xander hedged.

"Oh. That's okay then." She said as she skipped over to Xander, who mock bowed and held out a hand. Harley smiled as she took it. Xander cackled in a hyena like manner as they danced out of the amusement park. Leaving the Joker alone.

"Only one thing could make this day worse." Joker sighed as he looked around. He saw the shadow of a bat on the ground in front of him. "And there it is."

Batman reached and knocked out the Joker. He looked around and when he was sure he was alone, he let out a small smirk of satisfaction.



END OF CHAPTER




AN: Hope you liked this chapter and I'm sorry it's not up to my usual length but I have been busy. The part "Won't you laugh with me" is a small tribute to a video called Joker Origin on youtube. It was what made me believe Ledger could pull off the role. The normal moments of the vid are what Xander looks like without the make up. Kinda.

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