TITLE: Let’s do the time warp again...

DISCLAIMER: All things BtVS belong to Joss Whedon, Doctor Who belongs to a bunch of people in the BBC. All I own is the twisted idea.

RATING: FR18

Spoilers: Set directly after “The Voyage of the Damned” Christmas episode of Doctor Who and post season 7 of Buffy.

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As he woke up he immediately regretted the decision, sure he burnt through alcohol quicker than anyone else on the planet, hell, the galaxy even, but that still didn’t mean he was immune from a hangover. His head was throbbing like drums and his hearts were pounding at a mile a minute as they tried to metabolise the alcohol out of his system. He must have drunk an insane amount last night for it to have affected him this way.

As he sat up in the bed the first thing that he noticed was the papers strewn all over it. Sure the bedroom looked the same as it always did but this time there were two major differences. Firstly there was the brunette lying in bed with him, which was definitely new. Secondly there were the photos scattered over the bed covers and floor. Snatching one of them up he took a moment to stare at it before deciding he didn’t actually want to know and put it back where he’d found it.

The photos were of him, and the brunette that was lying next to him on the bed. They were both at some sort of cheap wedding service, that wasn’t new, he’d attended dozens of weddings before, hell, he’d attended Elvis’ wedding, but this time the brunette was wearing what looked like a veil, and to top it off there were pictures of him and her kissing.

He didn’t kiss; he never kissed, not unless it was an emergency or something. Kissing was too personal; he hadn’t kissed anyone since... not since Rose. Well, there was Martha, but that was a genetic transfer, not a kiss, not like the burning passion he had felt when she transferred the heart of the TARDIS to him.

That was the reason he was in Vegas for the first place, everywhere he went in London or England just reminded him of her and the fact that he had lost her through the void to another dimension. He hadn’t even managed to tell her how he felt when they finally said goodbye, she had the courage to actually say it, he couldn’t in time and the walls had closed before he had plucked up the courage. Even his little adventure over Christmas with Astrid hadn’t managed to keep his mind off of her, if anything it only served as a reminder of how badly he needed the companionship of someone else, someone to hold him back, just someone to help him see the universe through fresh eyes.

Martha had left him, Jack was back at Torchwood, Rose was trapped in a parallel dimension, Donna didn’t want to come with him and Astrid had... she was gone too. That was the curse of the time lords, always left alone. Everyone else died or moved on, this was his life, he was always alone when it came down to it.

“Ugh, where’s the cat?” The brunette asked as she sat up and groggily ran her hand through her hair.

“What?” The Doctor asked incredulously as he tried desperately to remember her name while staring at her as if she was mad.

“The cat the shit in my mouth,” The brunette smirked before throwing the bed sheets off and stepping down onto the floor of the TARDIS. “I’m guessing you’re not a movie fan then.”

The Doctor didn’t know what to say, the brunette was now stretching out and walking around the bedroom of the TARDIS like she owned the place, being the gentleman that he was he was doing his best not to look at her directly while he racked his mind for details about what had happened last night.

“Where the fuck are we anyway?” The brunette asked, pacing around and looking down several passageways that led off from the bedroom. “And where the hell is the bathroom, I gotta take a leak, like now!”

“What?!?” The Doctor repeated as he moved to stand up until the sensation of the bed sheets moving reminded him that he was in a similar state of undress as the brunette.

“Do you say anything else?” The brunette smirked before pulling on her underwear from the floor and searching around for a bit before pulling a pair of leather pants out from under the bed.

“Sorry, yes, I mean... no, I mean what I said, what?” The Doctor repeated, his eyes flicking around the room hunting for his usual suit while his hand ruffled through his messy hair. His brain saw something on the floor but refused to recognise it until he looked over it again. Reaching down he picked up the piece of paper and read it slowly before doing a double take and reading it again.

“Faith Lehane?” He asked hopefully.

“F**k that, just Faith.” The brunette said as she pulled on a red sleeveless t-shirt that showed off her ample assets, she paused for a moment before cracking her neck. “Gotta say, even wasted I know how to pick ‘em, so what’s your name then?” She smirked as the man just stared at her.

“I’m The Doctor... your husband according to this.” The Doctor said slowly in disbelief as he handed over the piece of paper to a shell-shocked Faith.

“What?!?” Faith screamed at the top of her lungs.

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“This can’t be real!” Faith shouted as she sat back down on the bed and slammed the wedding certificate down next to her. “It hasn’t even got your name on it!”

“Yes it has,” The Doctor protested, jabbing the wedding certificate with his finger. “See, The Doctor, that’s me.”

“That’s not a name.” Faith said simply as she watched him reach down under the bed and start hunting around for something.

“It’s my name,” The doctor stated firmly. “Anyway, what sort of a name is Faith?”

“You seemed to like it last night,” Faith smirked seductively. “From the way you were screaming it anyway.”

That stopped The Doctor dead as he just stared at her open mouthed for a bit, then his brain finally caught up with what she had said. “Wait, you remember last night?”

“Hell no,” Faith grinned. “But I ain’t met a man yet that didn’t scream it while I was ridin’ ‘em.”

“Look,” The Doctor started before blowing out a breath and counting to ten slowly. “We’ll just get it annulled then me and you can go our separate ways, is that alright?”

“Fine by me,” Faith said as she stood up and stared at him. “Unless you want to go for another ride first?” She smirked as The Doctor just stared at her before running his hand through his already messy hair.

“Bathroom’s that way,” He stared firmly, pointing down a corridor to the left of the bed room. “Don’t touch anything else.”

“Whatever...” Faith muttered as she started walking off in the direction he’d pointed. “You know, you should really invest in some carpets or something...”

“Faith!” The Doctor said in a warning tone as he swung off the bed just in time to see her smirk at him and disappear down the corridor. “What is it with brides and trouble...” He muttered as he finally stood up and started hunting around for his suit, the last bride he’d had in the TARDIS was Donna, and she’d turned out to be a handful and a half over last Christmas. He couldn’t be married, especially to a young girl like Faith, could he?

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He’d finally managed to get dressed; finding his suit in pieces had been a bit of a shock though. He still couldn’t figure out what had happened last night, he must have fought off some sort of giant paper shredder for his suit to get in the state it was in, and the less said about his sonic screwdriver the better, it looked like it had been use for... well, he didn’t actually want to think what it looked like. He’d just wrapped it in tissue and gingerly placed it back in his suit pocket after finding a fresh suit.

He still didn’t have any memories of last night, but the pictures that were now neatly stacked on the bed had given him a pretty good idea. There seemed to be pictures of him and the brunette at some sort of bar, her straddling him while they both were drinking Banana Daiquiris. Then even more pictures of him and her in various states of undress and doing things he was pretty sure were anatomically impossible for a human female.

He was broke out of his musings when the brunette in question sauntered back into the bedroom looking a lot fresher than she had when she had left. Her hair was neatly piled up on top of her head and she looked like she had just ingested an ungodly amount of coffee from the way she was bouncing along.

“Fuck me, how big is the place anyway?” Faith asked as she finally stopped staring at him. He looked fresh; his messy hair now suited him as he was wearing a fresh brown pinstriped suit with a blue shirt on and trainers.

“Big enough,” The Doctor answered enigmatically with a grin. “Now, let’s see about that annulment shall we?”

“Sounds good to me Doc,” Faith grinned as she watched him get up and start walking down a different corridor. “Where are we anyway, some sort of frickin’ mansion or something?”

“Something like that,” The Doctor said as he strode along, not really interested in answering any of her questions as she would be gone soon enough. The sooner he got the annulment sorted the sooner he could move on and get away from everything here that reminded him of everyone he had lost.

“Not really forthcoming with...” Faith trailed off as he followed The Doctor into the main room of The TARDIS. She just stopped and stared at the glowing centre of the room that was pulsing up and down like a heartbeat. “Fuck, what is this place?”

“Never you mind that, come on, we’ll get this sorted then you can do whatever you want.” The Doctor frowned as he tried looking for his coat before shrugging and moving towards the doors. It was Vegas, not London, he didn’t really expect there to be rain in Nevada, not until twenty seventy when they perfected the Eco-gen system anyway.

“Whatever...” Faith mumbled as she watched him head for the main white doors that were dominating one side of the room with a catwalk like area leading down to it, the entire place was now making her feel uneasy, it almost felt alive.

“Anyway, where we, ah yes, annulment.” The Doctor ginned one last time before opening the doors and stepping outside. “Wait, this isn’t right...” He paused for a moment as Faith stepped out behind him.

“What... the... fuck?!?” Faith bit out as she took in the landscape. Her brain didn’t want to accept what it was being told at first so she blinked several times before spinning round and noticing the blue police box that they had both just walked out of. “I so wasn’t that drunk last night.” Faith shouted as she stormed around the police box looking for some sort of trick. “Magic right, got to be...” She muttered as she opened the doors again and looked inside. “Where are we then, another fucking dimension or something?” She shouted as she turned back to The Doctor and got ready to punch him.

“Wait... whoa... I don’t know where we are either, and what are you talking about, another dimension?” The Doctor babbled out, holding his hands up in the universal sign for surrender.

“You didn’t kidnap me then?” Faith said as she looked at The Doctor warily, not willing to trust any sort of coincidence like this. He was obviously a powerful witch, or wizard, or whatever they were called. Anyone that could create something as huge as where she had woke up, and then forced it into such a small box was obviously a power she didn’t want to face off against, knowing her luck she’d end up spending the next twenty years trying to fight her way out of a Mickey Mouse fanny pack or something.

“What?” The Doctor asked her, his voice raising several notches as he looked around the desert landscape. “This... this can’t be...” He said softly, his voice tinged with regret as he looked up at the burnt orange sky overhead. He span around, licking his finger and holding it up for a second before running off towards a sand dune.

“What?” Faith asked, watching him for a second before realising that he was the only one that could possibly get her home, and since he hadn’t shown any signs of being hostile and, from the way her body was aching in all the right places, he had given her a pretty good night. “Wait up!” She yelled before racing after him.

“It can’t be...” The Doctor shouted as he reached the dune, he was now pacing around and staring off into the distance while running his hands through his hair and messing with it wildly.

“Whoa...” Faith whistled as she reached the dune where The Doctor was pacing, off in the distance she could see massive mountain ranges that put the Rockies to shame. There was already a sun overhead but a second one was rising behind the mountains making them glimmer like they were made out of pure silver. Around the base of the mountains were deep red fields of grass with trees that shone like firelight as the light reflected off their leaves. “Where are we...” She whispered.

“It’s impossible...” The Doctor stated firmly. “It’s a trick, it can’t be!” He shouted the last.

“Whoa... chill, look we’re obviously here, so where is here?” Faith asked as she looked over the breathtaking scene again before looking back at The Doctor who was staring at her intently.

“Gallifrey,” He said softly, his voice tinged with regret.

“Galliwhat?” Faith asked with a smirk.

“My home,” The Doctor said with finality. “But it can’t be, Gallifrey burned, it all burned.”

“Still here,” Faith grinned. “Nice place though, needs a few buildings, maybe a mall or something, and the two suns, do I need some sort of sun block or anything, you know, factor ninety?”

“Buildings!” The Doctor shouted with a grin. “Brilliant!” With that said he pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his pocked before looking at in with a mixture of confusion and disgust. “I don’t want to know.” He said firmly as Faith looked like she was ready to say something. He slowly and deliberately wiped the screwdriver off on his sleeve before holding it up to the light and pressing a few buttons on it.

Faith just smirked as she watched him tinker with the small metal cylinder, after a few moments and a few combinations of buttons he seemed impressed as he started bouncing around.

“This way!” He shouted before running off back towards the TARDIS.

“Man, don’t you have a bike or something?” Faith muttered before shaking her head in amusement as she watched him run through the desert kicking up sand behind him as he passed the blue police box and continued on running. “How much energy does he have?” She asked herself as she took off running as fast as she could to catch up with him.

“It can’t be...” The Doctor said as he stopped, skidding to a halt as he stared out across the landscape. Off in the distance was a beautiful city, obviously deserted and decaying under the constant pressure of time, but not that far gone. The perfect white spires were still standing, it looked like it had just been deserted... but that couldn’t be right.

“What...” Faith asked as she ran up next to him, she had been using her full slayer speed and still had trouble keeping up with this man, whoever, whatever he was. “Jesus, Mary and the other one...” She muttered as she looked at the amazing city off in the distance, at one point it looked as if it had had a dome or something protecting it from the elements, but that had all gone now and the giant pearl white spires were slowly being eaten away by the sand filled air. Even from here she could tell the city was deserted, it was quiet, to use a cliché, too quiet. No sounds of people, engines, anything. The silence was almost deafening with just the soft breeze picking up sand around them to signal there was anything else here but themselves.

“They’re all gone...” The Doctor said; the regret in his voice now thick in the air. “But they can’t be, this can’t be right... it just can’t be!” With that he stood up and started making his way towards the city in the distance.

“Oh come on,” Faith mumbled to herself as she jogged down after him. “Look, just look at it!” She shouted the last, reaching out and grabbing hold of The Doctor’s jacket. “There’s no one there, it’s deserted, there hasn’t been anyone there in fuck knows how many years.” It was true; she could see it from here now if she squinted. The buildings showed real signs of decay and the most telling fact was that there wasn’t any glare from the windows; it was like every piece of glass in the entire city had been smashed.

“I need to know!” The Doctor shouted, reaching up and prising her hands away from his jacket. “I have to know what happened.”

“Fine, whatever,” Faith rolled her eyes as she watched him stride off again. She estimated the trip would take about two, maybe three hours on foot. “I am getting seriously sick of running after him,” She grumbled as she looked up to the sky where the second sun was starting to climb into the centre of the sky, she took her time to wipe her forehead before she started off after him.

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AN: ok, just a short one for now as i'm not sure whether i want to continue this universe but my beta begged me to post it...

enjoy

M