Title: Dreams Of Thee


Author: eena_angel2001


Rating: PG-13


Category: BTVS/HP


Pairing: Willow/Harry


Disclaimer: Don't own any of them.


Spoilers: S7 for BTVS, OoTP for HP.


Summary: All but a dream of thee . . .


Notes: Answer to Jinni's Poetry Challenge #2, future fic for HP.


~*~


"T'was so; But this, all pleasures fancies bee.


If ever any beauty I did see,


Which I desire'd, and got, t'was but a dreame of thee"


The Good Morrow, John Donne


~*~


"You're supposed to be inside with the others."


I didn't bother to look up at the sound of the soft voice, trying my best not to shiver as I let the sweet melody of her words wash over me. I had it bad this time, real bad. This was way worse than Fleur or even Cho. This girl had me utterly tongue-tied and unable to think.


It was bloody inconvenient.


"Hate to disappoint you, but I don't always do what others want me to do."


And of course I cover my obvious lust with blatant hostility. Yes, you may say it, I'm an idiot. Ron certainly thinks so, he tells me just about everyday. Hermione wishes I would grow up and Ginny just gives me the most aggravated look before stomping away. Ginny had long ago told me that if I ever wanted a girl to like me, I was going to have to start acting like a normal person.


Never been one for normal.


"You know, you're awfully surly," she commented, seemingly unfazed by my rather harsh tone as she came to stand next to me. I kept my eyes forward, stubbornly refusing to look at her. Instead, I looked out at the beautiful LA nightline, wondering for the umpteenth time whether or not this was really happening. Had the war with Voldemort gotten so bad that Dumbledore thought it would be prudent to resort to this? Working hand and hand with the Wolfram and Hart-LA branch, exposing all us impressionable young Aurors to the horrors of the demon world and the mystery of Wiccan magic.


Fudge had a heart attack when Dumbledore suggested the idea. I seriously think that's the only reason why the Professor suggested it in the first place. On the same side or not, Dumbledore had never hidden his disdain of Fudge's rather incompetent reign as Minister of Magic. I didn't understand why Fudge even mattered anymore. People had stopped paying attention to him ages ago.


"Anything in particular bothering you today?"


Oh right, she was still here. Couldn't she take a hint and leave me alone? It was easier to moon over her when she wasn't around.


"I'm just fine," I snapped at her. "Please leave."


She was silent, tightening her coat around her body and peering cautiously over the edge of the roof. She really shouldn't be out here. It was so high up, and so bloody cold as well. Hell, I shouldn't be up here it was so damn cold, but I had the luxury of a warming charm while she did not. Though she could have one if she wanted to.


Strange thing about Willow Rosenburg was that she didn't want to.


And that applied to almost everything magical. She used her powers, I had seen as much. But she used them rarely and only when she had no other option left to her. Normally I would think she disliked her power or something, but that wasn't the case with her. When she used her magic, her hair would instantly go from red to white and she would glow. Honest to God, she would GLOW. It was an awesome thing to see, and probably even better to experience.


However, she used her magic with a large degree of reservation. She had basically insulted Malfoy when she suggested he clean his robes the Muggle way. There had been this quiet lecture about not abusing magic and learning to be self-sufficient because a person couldn't always count on magic to get them out of a mess, but all of that had gone over Malfoy's head. Well, actually more like right through his chest. He nearly had a heart attack when Willow began to show him how to use a washer.


"You know Harry, I'm starting to think that you don't like me," she murmured thoughtfully. "Why is that?"


I kept silent, glaring off into the dark night. I didn't want to be up here, having this discussion with her while trying to fend off the rather naughty thoughts I had when she came this close to my person. Honestly, how old was I? Still getting stupid schoolboy crushes on every other female? And then proceeding to handle it worse than most schoolboys?


Maybe I should just let Voldemort put me out of my misery.


"You're missing a valuable lesson on how to fight without the aid of your wand," she attempted again. "Buffy was looking for you. She said you had shown some interest in learning about the sword. Why don't you head on down?"


Because you'll be there, watching like you always do. Those beautiful green eyes trailing over everyone, making notes on our progress and pausing to smile encouragingly at us whenever we hit a block. Of course, those were words I'd never say. Why wasn't she leaving yet?


"I'll go when I'm good and ready."


"Oh Harry, pull your head out of your ass already."


Okay, that stopped me. I spun around to look at her finally, taking in the irritated look on her face and the way her hands were placed on her hips in a sure sign of vexation. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. We had been here for three weeks and never once did I hear Willow speak such words. Not even when she gets into little squabbles with that Faith girl. Her eyes were flickering with danger instead of the warmth I'm used to seeing and I'm more than a little annoyed to find that she's even more beautiful looking like this.


I just can't win with this girl.


"What?" I managed to stammer, pushing some of the wilder bits of my hair out of my face. She just glared back at me, stepping closer so that our noses were almost touching.


"I said, pull your head out of your ass," she repeated snappishly. "I don't know what your deal is, but I'm getting kind of sick of it. Even Draco doesn't give as much attitude as you do, and I know he just HATES it here. You, on the other hand, act like a total brat for no reason. From what I've heard, you wanted to come here and learn, but now that you're here you've become the most intolerable person I have ever met. Care to fill me in on why that is?"


I didn't know what to say, unable to do anything other than gape at her openmouthed. It was starting to get very windy up on the roof, causing her red hair to fly about her, strands of it covering her face. She looked absolutely breathtaking and I just finally snapped.


"You!" I bellowed, louder than I should have. "It's you, all right? You're the reason why I'm acting in a obnoxious manner worthy of Malfoy in his early years! You, it's you, all about you!"


Her eyes had gotten impossibly wide and she was more than a little confused. There was also some hurt on her face, but the shock overrode most of it. I took a deep breath to calm myself, clenching my fists up at my sides.


"You know that Voldemort is after me, right?" I asked her softly. She nodded, not saying a word. The confusion was still there, amplified more so now that I had brought up the Dark Wizard. I sighed and relaxed, letting my shoulders slump in an almost defeated manner.


"He wants everything actually, but killing me is pretty high up on the list," I continued. "Right at the top if you want the honest truth. He's been obsessed with killing me ever since he gave me this blasted scar. And I've been doing a pretty good job of staying alive in spite of his efforts, which only makes him want to kill me even more. But as the years go by and I continue to live, much to his consternation, he's headed down to the second item on his list."


"Which is?"


"Hurting me," I confessed. "He'll use anyone and anything to get at me. If he can't kill me, then he'll kill anyone around me. His Death Eaters are usually the ones he sends in to do his bidding. They got my godfather in my fifth year at Hogwarts. About two years ago, they even got my Uncle Vernon. I won't even tell you how many times he's tried to have Hermione and Ron killed, mostly because I've lost count. The number is right up there with the number of times he's tried to kill me, and that's pretty damn high."


"I know," she told me, her brows furrowed together. "Though I'm not seeing much connection here-"


"Voldemort tries to get at me through my family and my friends, can you even imagine what he would do if I ever got myself a girlfriend?"


For one split second, she looked so lost that it was cute. But then realization dawned on her and her face went an interesting shade of pink. She cleared her throat nervously, suddenly losing the nerve to look me in the eye.


"Harry, I didn't-"


"Willow, I'm not an idiot," I cut her off. "I know you're not my girlfriend. I also know that I like you too much not to do something incredibly stupid if you keep hanging around me. Like kiss you or something. And regardless of whether or not something comes from it, it's bound to get out. Even if Voldemort's spies don't catch it, that annoying Skeeter woman will. Bloody hell if I dare to sneeze nowadays, she'll find some way to make it headline news. I don't have a private life, thanks to that woman."


A giggled escaped her lips before she could stop it. A hand clapped itself over her mouth and she looked almost guilty, but I waved it off, plopping down into a sitting position. She followed me of course, seating herself cross-legged right in front of me.


"I don't want to drag you, or anyone else into this thing between myself and Voldemort," I confessed. "I can't bring anyone else into it. But it's just really hard because you're pretty damn unique Willow Rosenburg. I'm not picturing white picket fences and a house full of children, but by Merlin the stuff I do picture can't be considered just friendly. Actually, most of its pretty steamy-I shouldn't have told you that."


She was tittering now, but still waiting for me to continue. I was embarrassed by this point, and I knew it so that only made it worse. I must be entirely red in the face. Hell, this was way harder than that time with Cho.


"I don't trust myself not to act like a lovesick fool around you," I finally continued. "It's all I'm good at doing around girls who catch my fancy. You would think that I would learn some grace or style over the years, but really, I think I've gotten worse. And I just know that if I acted on any of this, I would get you into some kind of trouble. I couldn't handle that Willow."


She was silent for so long that I wondered if I had said too much. However, considering that I said all that there was to say, it was pretty obvious that I had said too much. You see? I'm a bumbling fool, I am.


"You know Harry, I am more than capable of taking care of myself."


Huh?


"I've taken on some creatures that make your Voldemort and Skeeter-lady look like children," she smiled at me. "And I've actually gotten stronger since then. I haven't been in a real fight for quite some time now, but I doubt that I've gone soft. We may not look all that effective Harry, but all of us Watchers, Slayers, and assorted members of the Wolfram and Hart payroll, we're not a force that anyone wants to mess with-Voldemort included."


"You don't know what you're dealing with in Voldemort," I insisted. She only shook her head, giving me a shy smile. I felt a little confused, freezing completely when she leaned in closer. The second her lips touched mine I thought my heart would explode.


The kiss was soft and sweet, much like her. It was also over very quickly. She pulled back and resumed her cross-legged position from before. I was shocked, fingers touching my lips as I looked at her with confusion.


"I haven't been struck down Harry," she giggled, gesturing to the area around us. "I'm not in any immediate peril now that one: you have admitted that you like me, and two: we have kissed. I think it's time you stopped being so worried."


"But, I can't-" I shook my head, recovering slightly from my shock. "Willow, you just can't understand what it feels like. To watch everything you touch get swallowed up in darkness. I have to be worried Willow, I have to be focused. Voldemort may not scare you, but he does frighten me. One of these days, it's going to come down to me and him-everyone knows it. I'm not sure who's going to make it out of that confrontation, though I'm working damn hard to make sure it's me. But until that time when it is just me and him, I can't bring anymore people to his attention. I just can't Willow. I won't."


She was looking at me with such emotion in her green eyes, though I couldn't quite place what that emotion was. She reached out, cupping my cheek gently.


"I think you and Buffy would really benefit from having some private talks," she whispered to me. "And as for me, I'm always in danger Harry. It comes with the territory. But I can understand what you're saying. And even though we're not an item, or even close to being one, I don't think we should throw away that option completely."


"Meaning?"


"Meaning that after you and Voldemort meet, after you win because I just know you will, after all that happens-I want to pick up where we leave off today."


I was stumped, and then floored when she kissed me again. It was longer than the last one, sweeter somehow as well. We parted and I couldn't keep the foolish grin off my face.


"It'll be something we can both look forward to," she finished, a small smile curving her lips. I nodded, getting to my feet and helping her stand as well.


"So, no more avoiding and acting like a brat?"


I nodded, flushing a bit.


"Sorry about that," I mumbled. "Like I said before, I'm not the best at dealing with matters of the heart."


"At least you can make more than the odd vowel sounds," she giggled. "That's how bad I used to be."


"I suppose we should head back down, shouldn't we?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. "I really do need that lesson. Actually, I need all of them if I ever plan on making it out of this war alive."


"I think we're all planning on getting you out of this alive," she assured me. "I've got a little more motivation now than before, but . . ."


Her words trailed off and she just looked up at me. Honestly, this girl was bloody gorgeous, incredibly gorgeous. Like I could keep myself away from her.


"Until then?" I suggested, my tone incredibly hopeful. She nodded and I knew that stupid smile on my face got bigger. She grinned wider as well, taking my arm and leading me towards to the stairwell, and I knew that I would definitely be picking up where we left off on this roof even if it killed me.


Until then it'll just be a pleasant dream.


~*~