Authors note: Oh my god, please remind me never to do this ever again! It’s so scary! I have never seen/read any anita blake stuff so I hope you don’t mind that I haven’t tried to include that pairing, I figured it would be better if I didn’t try to write about something I have no knowledge of than to make it up and make a mess of it. When I first got my “assignment” I kinda freaked and debated about not doing it, however in the spirit of Christmas (and that I don’t want anyone to hate me!) I have decided to give it ago so Stargoddessvicky I apologise for the travesty that I have turned your pressie request into. Well here goes, I hope you like it and please don’t make your reviews scathing, I know it’s a bad fic, you know so you don’t need to tell me!
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Joss and JK own everything (except for my crazy ideas or course!)
Xander Harris was not a happy bunny (god Anya, if she was still alive, god bless her soul, would kill him for even thinking about bunnies) his bestest friend in the whole world Willow Rosenberg had got married, that’s right Willow-the-once-lesbian-wandless-wicca was now his Mrs-Willow-the-wand-waving-DADA teaching-Snape shaped friend and that’s why he found himself here sitting at a table in the Great Hall surrounded by chattering people in well, girly dresses, both men and women, yet feeling totally alone.
Taking a swig of his Butter beer Xander sighed and thought about the ceremony, Willow of course looked like a gorgeous goddess in her strapless white gown, with her hair curled and pinned up to emphasise the simple silver tiara she wore, the bridesmaids, all three, looked heavenly in emerald green and Xander, grudgingly had to admit that Sev, as he had taken to calling Willows guy, looked damn handsome in surprise, surprise his black suit. There had been a moment before the ceremony when Xander thought Willow was going to up and run, it wasn’t the fact that she had cold feet it was the fact that hardly anyone she invited turned up of course Ira and Sheila weren’t there, when were they ever there for their daughter?, Angel and the gang sent their regards, best wishes and lots of presents promising to visit as soon as possible and Buffy and Giles, well they received a nasty reply and a more kindly worded one from them but it seemed that Buffy didn’t count Willow as a friend any more since she “ran off to go play with wands and “mind washed” Dawn into following”, seems the Buffster was still a bit sore about the whole Dawns a witch thing I mean everyone should of guessed because Dawn is the all magical swirly green energy girl, so seeing as “no one” as Willow put it was coming Xander had to save the day with his “you look gorgeous and the most important people are still here Will’s I mean do you remember the fiasco that was my wedding and hey everyone was there” speech. Seeing as he wasn’t really all buddy buddy with Sev, Xander wasn’t surprised that he didn’t get asked to be best man, that went to a Spike-alike called Draco who seemed kinda cool actually – apparently Sev is his god father, anyway in Xander’s eyes, okay eye he had the best job – he got to walk Willow down the aisle and give her away, how cool was that!
The service held outside on school grounds and was very moving, so much so that Xander cried but in a manly and discrete way. Then they took photos, seemed the photographer was an ex student of Sevs, Colin Creevy or something like that. Xander kept catching the strangest looks of wonder, awe and disbelief when people that turned out to be former students looked at the smiling professor Snape and his new wife. After the photos they went inside had a delicious three course meal throughout which Xander made small talk with the people sitting next to him in the bridal party, although he was so absorbed in his thoughts that he paid little attention but he did know that Dawn was sitting at the other end of the table, he heard some mumblings about cutting the cake and looking to his left he saw Willow sitting with Sev, smiling but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes- it looked as though she was happy but feeling guilty, what did she have to be guilty about – then he remembered a letter that had arrived for her this morning and Willows subsequent emotional outburst only one person could make Willow feel that low… Buffy. After confirming it with Ginny who was sat next to him, he asked her if there were normally speeches at wizard weddings, she said yes but Draco wasn’t planning on doing one, butt hey had one at their wedding. Taking a gulp of his champagne Xander stood up and tapped his spoon on his glass and called “Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please…” the murmuring crowd quietened down “I don’t know how you do things in the wizarding world but where I come from we like to make speeches with very lame jokes at weddings, except for at mine where I think there was a brawl … anyway I would like to take this opportunity and I hope you’ll join me in raising your glasses to Mr and Mrs Snape and wishing them all the happiness in the world. There were good times, there were bad times, we lost and by god did we win but through it all we stuck together, a family and I hope in creating your new generation of Scoobies so I can finally be cool Uncle Xander…oh wait a minute I got off track. Anyway I hope you’ll remember that we all love you and want you to be happy and I bet they’re all looking down from heaven smiling Tara, Joyce, even Spike although I think that Anya will probably be telling me to shut up and let you get on with the “evening activities”. So if you’ll all raise your glasses, to the bride and groom, may your lives be full of happiness and lots of little mini Willows, sorry Sev but I don’t know what you were like as a child so I wont wish that on anyone! Now let’s have some of this cake eh?”
Willow smiled through her tears and she and Sev walked towards the cake, Dawn whispered furiously to Xander and he called out “Oh and Sev, Dawns with me on this one, Giles too if he were here, you hurt her and I’ll beat you to death with a shovel, oh and here’s a Spikeism for you I’ll rip out your rib cage and wear it as a hat, we clear?”
Yes it was a beautiful day and here he was the party in full swing around him people were dancing and laughing and although a weight was lifted from his chest Xander still didn’t feel right. A sweet voice from his left brought him out of his day dreams “You going to sit there all night Xander or do you want to dance?” he looked up into the most gorgeous caramel eyes he had ever seen and answered with a most eloquent “Huh?” “Oh, how rude of me, I’m Hermione Granger, you know the last bridesmaid, the one that isn’t Ginny or Dawn”
“Oh, right Willow talks about you, you work here right?”
“Yes, I’m the librarian …”
“I wish our librarian was as cute as you, but then we got Giles and somehow I just can’t see you in a tweed suit!” then he realised what he said and opened his mouth in horror.
Clearing his throat trying to take her attention of what he just said “So Hermione, you said you wanted to dance, shall we?”
“Sure” When they stood up to dance a slow love song was just ending and then the blood pumping beat of Tom Jones sex bomb started playing.
Xander always thought that librarians were straight laced and boring but Hermione was hip swivelling and grinding with the best of them! It gave Xander an opportunity to observe her and suddenly it hit him, she was bloody gorgeous and here she was dancing with the worst prospect in the whole room, either she was really desperate or Willow put her up to it. Xander’s eye searched frantically for Willow and found her to be smiling at him, she definitely put Hermione up to it.
“Hermione, not that I’m not having fun but are you drunk or did Willow put you up to this?”
Hermione looked at him shocked and then blushed and looked down “Xander, I know we’ve never met before and you’ll probably think I’m crazy but I have a crush on you!”
“huh? What? How?”
“Well Willow has pictures of you in her rooms and she talks about you all the time, so does Dawn and you just sounded so nice, and then today you were all emotional because your best friend was getting married and you made her day so much better by just being here and I just love sensitivity in a man, and I’m going to kiss you now!” blurted Hermione.
Xander couldn’t reply to that because Hermione gently pressed her lips against his and teased his lower lip with her tongue, he couldn’t believe it this gorgeous creature was taking an interest in him, she tasted so sweet. Her eyes half lidded Hermione looked up at Xander and said “Willow tells me you have a thing for making out in closets, want to see if we can find an empty broom cupboard?”
Xander could do nothing but nod, dumbstruck as Hermione led him off the dance floor and out of the room.
“Aw! Sev look at them didn’t I tell you they’d make the cutest couple!” whispered a beaming Willow “That you did my little pixie, that you did” murmured Severus languidly “Hey! Where are they going?”
“You didn’t see the way they were looking at each other? My guess they are doing what we did the night we met…” he trailed off suggestively
“Argue?”
“Willow dear stop being so dense, what did we do after we argued?”
“Oh!” Willow blushed; Severus found it quite enchanting that his little pixie still blushed like an innocent after all the things they got up to.
Nuzzling her neck he whispered “Would you care for a repeat performance?”
Willow grinned and they quickly made their way to their room, so engrossed where they in each other that the passed a broom closet with rather suspicious noises emanating from it and didn’t even notice.
