The Problems of Rent-Controlled Housing





Brief AN: due to a post about loopholes for vamps and the subsequent discussion with my beta. I do NOT own either BtVS or HP, nothing, I own nothing.





A light powdery dust was falling all around the brunette engrossed in her book, yet she didn’t seem to notice. She would occasionally sweep the dust off the page in front of her, but that was the extent of her reaction. She also didn’t look up when a steady creak emanated from the ceiling. She had too much to do, and too little time. While she was trying to finish her education as a Healer, she worked in a Muggle library during the day. She only had a few hours after work ended to do her studying each day. She looked up from the manifesto on the uses of acromantula phallotremes in medicinal potions only when the ceiling above her collapsed with a loud crash… WHOOSH!.. BANG!.. thunk.


Debris rained down onto her, her books, and the rest of her living room. She just missed being hit by a falling coffee table, but didn’t seem to notice. She was too busy staring in shock at the sight of her upstairs neighbor hovering over the giant hole in the ceiling, like invisible wires were suspending her. She had picked this apartment complex because it was a Muggle residence, and as far as she knew, she was the only witch in residence. There was no logical reason as to why Heather (at least, she thought her neighbor’s name was Heather – it started with an H, at least, that she knew) would be levitating.


"Heather, do you need some help?" she called up to the girl in the air. She wasn’t sure what she could do without pulling out her wand, but that would only be a last resort. It wouldn’t do to go exposing herself to the other residents. She wasn’t sure how the renters’ association would take to their secretary being a witch, and she didn’t want to find out.


"Does it look like I need help! Of course! Duh!" the blonde responded. "But how are you going to get me down from here? Magic? And my name’s not Heather! Why can’t anyone get it right?" The obviously not-a-Heather started crying. "That stupid blonde.. blonde.. blondie bear couldn’t even get it right. Why did I ever think he was going to leave his stupid wife for me? She has a stupid name too. Narcosis, Narcoleptic something like that. Stupid blonde peoples." The girl kept muttering.


Hermione had a vague suspicion that this girl was far more familiar with magic than the average Muggle. "Would that be Narcissa, by any chance?"


"That’s it!" the girl whined. "I guess you know by snookum-ukums Lucky bear too."


"Lucky bear? Would that happen to be Lucius? Lucius MALFOY!?!?"


"That’s my blondie bear. Well, he was my blondie bear." The girl was pouting again. "If you know him, does that mean you’re all with the witchy business? Could you get me down from here so I can go back to drowning my sorrows in ice cream again?"


"Sure.. um, what did you say your name was?"


"Harmony. Thanks, doll!"



- - - - - - - - - -


Two hours later, Harmony was still hanging in the air. Hermione had done everything she could, but nothing had moved the blonde. She had even called Harry and Ron, but they hadn’t been able to budge the girl either. They were fast running out of ideas, and Hermione was rapidly running out of time. She had agreed to go on a blind date with one of her co-workers friends, and he was supposed to pick her up at 9. She very well couldn’t invite a Muggle into her apartment while her friends tried to magic down a woman stuck in the ceiling. It just wouldn’t look right, and there was no way she could explain it away.


Someone started knocking on the door, and she glanced at the clock on the wall. If she was lucky, then that wasn’t Alexander at her door fifteen minutes early. She glanced through the peephole in the door to see that luck was obviously not on her side. It would really be rude to not let him in, and maybe he wouldn’t notice that Harmony. Maybe Harry could explain it? That seemed like a plan to her.


"Hermione? Nice meeting you. Willow’s told me so much about you, but she never told me you were so beautiful." The man smiled at her, and she melted at the sight of his grin.


"Thank you, Alexander. It’s a pleasure to meet you to." While she was making small talk with him, she was trying to direct him back to the door, facing away from Harmony, Harry, and Ron. "Shall we leave?"


"Call me Xander, everyone does. Should we leave with all these people here? I thought Wills told me you lived alone?"


"I do, my friends will let themselves out later. Let’s go."


He seemed to be taking his time, to her irritation. She was not going to be able to distract him, and she knew it. He glanced over at Harmony, and seemed a bit startled. "If you want to go, we can." Hermione was shocked that he made no comment over the tableau playing out in the living room.


Harry and Ron looked on as Xander helped her with her coat, and opened the door for her. On the way out, he bent down and whispered in her ear. She looked back up at him, not understanding what he was asking her to do. He whispered to her again, and she seemed to understand that time.


"You’re welcome to come in, Harmony" she called out as she exited the apartment. "Be careful, guys. See you later."


Harry was shocked to see Harmony suddenly falling. He managed to catch her right before she hit the ground.


She looked up at him and giggled. "You’re awfully cute and strong, you free? Oooh, there’s such a great new movie playing! If we hurry, we can catch up with Herms and Xandie-poo! What a great idea!"



- - - - - - - - - -


On their way out of the building, Hermione asked Xander how he knew what would free Harmony.


"Vamps have to be invited in. It was fairly obvious. I always wondered what would happen if a vamp fell through a hole in the roof or tried to enter through a hole in the side of the house. Guess I’ve got my answer. Huh, who’d a thunk it?"