Elements of Risk

"Stupid, impulsive mouth," Willow grumbled at herself, tossing yet another shoe out of the closet. "Just because Buffy's being irritating and wants to go do things with Riley is no excuse to open your mouth and leap into things. How do I even know if he really wants to know me or if he's just bored with Sunnydale? How do I know that I'm not his entertainment for his stay? Stupid, stupid thing to say, a terrible way to get back into dating..."

Something stirred in the doorway, and Willow, on edge and unhappy from her day at the Magic Box and then classes at college, spun around, one shoe raised and ready to hurl at the intruder.

"Peace," Remy raised his hands, grinning at her. "You did no' seem to hear the door, so I let myself in."

Her face went hot, and Willow lowered the shoe, hoping that he hadn't heard her muttered ranting. "Sorry. I've had a day, and there's no need to start throwing shoes at you because of it."

"Remy appreciate dat," he moved closer, holding one hand towards her. "A hand to your feet?"

Willow let Remy help her to her feet, and sighed. He was just... charming, and handsome. A dangerous combination. "So, we were going to figure out something for Saturday?"

"What sort of t'hings have you done before?" Remy's eyes gleamed at her, and there was a small smile on his lips. "Always good to know what sort of competition t'ere be."

"Oh yes, with my vast dating history," Willow snorted. "With Oz, we went to the Bronze, we spent time at the library with stacks of books, and we went for some long walks. With Tara..."

"Tara?" Remy blinked, murmuring, "Dat be a very femme name."

"And she was a very pretty girl," Willow smiled slightly, before remembering the way that Tara's eyes had gone cold and hard, the way she'd glared and said that 'of course she'd just been using Willow. The Slayer would never attack her best friend's girlfriend, after all...' or the way that she'd felt so weak and tired after practicing spells with Tara. "We had a nasty break up, but she was pretty. On the outside, at least."

Remy looked thoughtful, and shook his head after a few moments. "Maybe somet'ing quiet. Much better museums out of this town, we could go see one, find a nice little place for dinner?"

Willow nodded, not asking how many people Remy had dated, or what sort of things they'd done. She was certain that his list was much, much longer. "I like museums. I guess I'm just sort of a quiet sort of girl. Maybe even a bit nerdy."

"Nothing wrong with a femme having a good mind an' a pretty face," Remy leaned back on the couch, and looked at her. "Why do you stay in dis place? You could go anywhere."

“You said you’d taken a look around Sunnydale, that you’d noticed some of the things here,” Willow began, trying to pick the right words to explain. “How could I just walk away from all of that, knowing that because I left, more people would die? People would have their lives broken by someone not coming home, or vanishing into the darkness. Or worse, the sort of things that happen if someone does come home after vanishing into the night…”

Remy winced, “Dat is a very ugly point.”

“How could I just walk away?” Willow sighed, feeling her shoulders slump. “This town has brought me so much pain, how could I just turn away and let others suffer the same, or worse and do nothing?”

One hand caught Willow’s, and Remy rubbed her fingers, “Willow, I can tell dat you wouldn’t jus’ walk away from everyt’ing. But Sunnydale not be the only place t’ings get nasty an’ strange. Not the only place wit vampires an’ monsters. You could still help against such t’ings in any other place you go. N’York. Los Angeles. Houston. N’Awlins. Anywhere. You could make a life for yourself, find a place dat feels like home, find someone to make you happy, an’ still help.”

Willow blinked, considering his words. How had she never thought of things that way before? She knew that there were demons and vampires elsewhere. Giles and Ethan had started messing around with summoning when they were young and foolish, over in England. Kendra had fought somewhere in the Caribbean, she’d never actually found out where. Faith had Slain her way across the South on her way to Sunnydale. Angel had been turned in Ireland. Of course demons and vampires were in other places. Of course someone could, should fight them elsewhere, or work with the ones who did.

Why couldn’t she go elsewhere? She could still get into almost any college that she wanted. Money wouldn’t be an issue, not with her college fund, the trust left to her by Great Aunt Iris, some minor programs that she’d sold, and her ability to make and sell potions and aromatic blends. And the more mundane grants, scholarships and student loans, of course. Almost anywhere would feel more like a home than her parents’ house. And Oz and Tara weren’t reason enough to give up on love.

Looking at Remy, Willow managed a smile, “I’d never thought of it like that. I should have, but for whatever reason, I hadn’t.”

“Been told for years dat Remy don’ go about everyt’ing the normal way,” he smiled at her. “Always a pleasure to help out such a belle femme.”

Looking at his smile, feeling his hand over her own, Willow wondered if Remy just might have a few suggestions on where she could start over, start a nicer, happier life and a suggestion on who she might share that life with. She wondered how many ulterior motives might be involved in such a suggestion if he made one. She didn’t ask and wasn’t certain that she’d like the answers if she did. “I suppose thinking outside the box would be a lot of help in your line of work.”

“Sometimes a great deal of help,” Remy admitted, smiling. “Now dat you started to think Sunnydale don’ need to be home for the rest of your life, maybe you let Remy help you have a little fun, hmmm? Maybe you get to thinking life should be enjoyed now an’ then? You can have fun without abandoning your responsibilities.”

“Because you have plenty of fun and still handle all the responsibilities that you have towards your Guild?” Willow took a step closer, looking at his eyes. “Because knowing how serious things can be doesn’t mean you can’t seize the moment?”

“Very much so,” Remy leaned closer, his body touching hers. “Even wit magic potions giving more time, you need to enjoy life. Otherwise, why bother?”

“Why live your life if you aren’t living it and enjoying?” Willow mused, aware of Remy and all that he was offering, even if he hadn’t used words. “You raise a very interesting point, Remy.”

“Maybe I bring you around to my way of thinking?” his words were barely loud enough to hear, and then he kissed her.

Willow felt herself melt against him. This couldn’t be wise, and she doubted this was anything like careful, but Remy and everything that he offered was very tempting. Maybe too tempting. Her arms wrapped around him, and Willow came to a decision. She’d tried to be careful, and to take things slowly, and it had gotten her pain, years of being ignored, one lover who had cheated on her, and one who had only been using her despite that caution.

Without risk, there would be no gain, and she would take that risk. Even though it was a big one. “You just might manage that, Remy.”

His eyes glowed like coals, and he kissed her again.

Willow just hoped that she wouldn’t regret this.

End Small Favor 4:Elements of Risk